Sanders Blog

Sunday, 22nd August, 2021

I am driven by facts, data, records, calendars, history, memory. As a professional, these are the sorts of things that have to be recorded and inform one’s day, week, year. At the very early stage of the World Wide Web in the UK, I introduced an online calendar in school for all to see across the institution. At home, Pauline & I have been using an integrated, online but private calendar to record immediate and ongoing events for years. I never forget a birthday, anniversary, recurring event because it is recorded and flagged up days in advance. I can plan in advance and make sure I never miss or am late for a meeting.

It has wonderful juxtapositions like today’s entries inform me that the second freezer in our outdoor kitchen starts its 4-year extended warranty this morning and today would have been my Mum’s 98th birthday. I try to mark these things in my Blog.

The problem is that I have run out of photographs and become even more repetetive than in my words. Even so, I mark the day.

It is a beautiful day here this morning and we are going out for an early walk in the sunshine. Everything is growing so fast that the lawns will need cutting and the hedges trimming again. Actually, the day reached 24C/75F A the afternoon progressed. I felt so let down that I opened iced  white wine to drink with home made crab cakes.

Got chatted up by a baby on my walk this morning. His Mother said he only used to talk to dogs. He was widening his social circle by making a concession for me. 

Monday, 23rd August, 2021

“You are old, Father William,” the young man said,
    “And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
    Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
    “I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
    Why, I do it again and again.”

Lewis Caroll – 1865

I have written before but it is worth repeating that the Nature/Nurture argument has become clearer to me over the years. In my youth, the left-wing view was that Nature – socio-economic – was the most important in the effect on human development and that the eugenicist view of inherited characteristics was dangerous. For that reason, and in later age, I have been astonished and had to acknowledge the power of heritability. The consequence of this is the overwhelming conclusion that none of us change fundamentally over our lives however much we develop superficially. My wife has just told me how annoying I can be. Nothing fundamental really changes.

Letter to a Friend about Fat Girls – Philip Larkin – 1945

The wife whose husband watched Away matches
While she behaved so badly in the bath ….
… I’m happier now I’ve got things clear, although
It’s strange we never meet each other’s sort:
There should be equal chances, I’d’ve thought.

Age changes us all superficially. We lose the lustre of youth. Our skin wrinkles; our hair goes grey; our weight increases; our eyesight weakens; our reproductive ability largely disappears. The list goes on but it is predictable. What is so important is the constant core of the character. This is what has so astonished me. It is almost immutable. Characteristics remain although we often don’t acknowledge them to ourselves.

We’ve been in a number of places where masks are difficult to wear. The car showroom involved lots of talking and nobody was wearing masks. The Tomato grower was wanting to talk and was not wearing a mask. Three days on, we take a Lateral Flow Test this morning and it is negative. I also did my weekly INR test and it is a perfect 2.5.

Accepting all my character strengths and weaknesses has often been painful to me. Today, I am coping with other, more physical pains. Last night I stubbed my little toe and this morning it is firey and swollen. I do it and ‘break’ it so regularly that you’d think I would learn. I don’t. Haven’t heard from the consultant about my potential hernia yet so my social secretary is following that up today. She is also driving me to the Opthalmology Department of the hospital where I have my eyes tested every 6 months. I have enlargement drops (Oh, how I need those!) which make driving impossible.

I could read the bottom line of the chart with confidence this morning so I am not in danger of losing my sight for a while. Can still see the truth! Just my luck that, when I emerged into the daylight with my pupils wildly dilated by the ‘drops’, the sun was shining strongly and burning into my retinas. It is an incredibly painful experience. Even the European Driving Lights on vehicles approaching us as I was driven home felt as huge, bright and intensive as floodlights at a football match. For the second day running, we have reached 24C/75F. I paid for it last night. I was already annoyed with myself for drinking wine outside in the sunshine. By midnight, my skin was clearly overexposed and uncomfortably hot. I didn’t sleep so well.

We are stopping supermarket deliveries at the moment and returning to our own shopping. Things are in such short supply and there are so many ‘substitutions’ in deliveries that it is more successful choosing ourselves.

With Afghanistan so much in the news currently, I just wanted to share this clever but sad image from Twitter this morning.

It’s entitled: The Disappearing Woman and depicts the power of a warped religion and ideology.

Tuesday, 24th August, 2021

It is 4.00 am and I couldn’t sleep …. Again! What the hell is happening this year? I have rarely had such difficulty coping with things. At the moment, I am regularly waking around 3.00 in the morning and failing to get back to sleep. Sometimes I lay there for hours thinking. Sometimes, I admit defeat and get up. So it is this morning – a warm morning after the most beautiful moon overnight. Usually, I would put Sky News on but I can’t even face that this morning. May go out for a walk.

Covid infection rates are surging in Greece probably because they have been forced for reasons of economy to accept tourist money. They decided that they couldn’t go for 2 years without earnings. They will pay a heavy price in the Autumn. We have deliberately held off going but I’m really missing it. At least I could have relied on a warm welcome.

Eleven years ago this week, I was recording that we had been on the island for almost 5 months and had just 6 weeks left before departure. We had set off for the drive in the first week of April and would return in the first week of October. By that time, we were really ready for 1^st World facilities again.

There is only so much staring at quiet, sandy beaches one can do. I found myself longing for traffic noise and bustle, for the ability to drive more than 5 miles without falling into the sea.

Stuffed full of life’s essentials plus French/Italian wine for 6 months on the way out, the car was emptier on the way home until we filled up again with French/Italian cheese and wine as we drove back across Europe. What were those Daily-Express-reading Brexiteers thinking of?

The Honda CRV pictured parked in Apollonia car park in August 2010 was our 12^th year of owning them. Now, 11 years on, we have ordered another. I must check back and find out how much we paid for our first one in 1998. This was one of the few times we didn’t have silver. Exciting black didn’t really do it for me. Showed up all the dirt and dust of a Greek island car park. Actually, our first two in the early 2000s were orange and pearlescent yellow. Felt really brave breaking the mould in those.

It’s 5.45 am and I have a headache as if I’ve just been punched in the head. The BBC Radio4 Today programme starts in 15 mins. Not worth going to bed now. Feels like things have resolved themselves and it is time to get on with the day. When I get in the gym, I can continue a Netflix series that I’ve been really enjoying over the past week. It has a delicious irony and is entitled, The Defeated.

Set in post-war Germany, the bombed-out nation is trying to resurrect its pride while being ruled by the allies. The arrogance of Nazism which deludedly believed the Allied Forces were punching above their weight and found, to their cost, that it was they who had assumed a false superiority. The fall is all the harder for the proud!

Well, the day has really taken a turn for the better. Lovely, hot and sunny weather all day and currently reaching 25C/77F. Quelle surprise! After completing my gym routine, I’ve been able to sit out in the sun with a glass of iced-Shloer. What more could a man want?

We were supposed to be going to the North of England for a week in October. I had even toyed with extending that period. Today we have cancelled all that.

Wednesday, 25th August, 2021

Beautiful morning. We are going out for an early walk. I will complete my gym routine and then we are driving to Surrey to visit P&C. It will be the last trip of any distance that this car will do in my hands. Hope it enjoys the experience! It will turn 9,000 miles in the process.

Maybe you are tough. Maybe you are unsentimental. Maybe you are not susceptible to emotion. Maybe you are not Human. I am all of these things and extremely human and vulnerable. I have never considered it a weakness to admit it. Some have a strange belief in not showing one’s feelings. Maybe they receive it from their parents, maybe from their culture. There was a wartime pride in stiff-upper-lip that I have never subscribed to.

Some interpret that as weakness although they do so at their peril. Sensitivity, sensibility, self-awareness are strong leaders of an understanding of self and one’s place in the world. This sense empowers one to deal with difficult situations so much more decisively and with genuine understanding. It allows one to keep channels of thought open whereas blind strength shuts them off automatically.

I was thinking about frailty and death today. It was sparked by news of The Stones’ drummer, Charlie Watts, dying at 80. After all, 80 is the new 60. It feels far too young to go.

A big lad I know from College days is badly in need of a new hip. Nowadays, that is not easy to come by through the NHS in these Tory Government days. Today he was seen by a specialist and put on the waiting list. He is a keen walker and distinctly disadvantaged by any delay. I don’t know if he is in a position to buy ‘private’ treatment although I expect he is but I understand his reluctance to go down that route having subscribed to National Healthcare all his life. I am in the same position potentially with need of surgery on a hernia. I feel extremely young and any frailty like this pulls me up hard. I am not prepared to compromise on my lifestyle and physical fitness so, ultimately, will pay for treatment although it goes against the grain.

The C-19 Zoe Study that we contribute towards each day has announced this morning that efficacy of the jabs declines significantly at the 6 month point. Fortunately, the decline is much more for those with the Oxford AZ jab than the Pfizer jab that we had but it will necessitate a booster soon. The most vulnerable, especially the immune-suppressed such as cancer sufferers, will take priority but it will be for all over 70 at least. Unfortunately, Pauline is not 70 yet so that may be a problem.

I am still doing my full workout routine including a 7 mile walk each day. It starts off around the perimeter of our development which goes through a delightfully wooded area before leading out onto the local streets. It ends up in the gym for an hour.

There are some things we really missed when we spent 6 months in Greece. Locally grown sweet corn was one, strawberries/raspberries and Victoria Plums. Currently, we are gorging on Victoria Plums. They are particularly plentiful and wonderful this year. We used to pick them round the corner at the local PYO farm but are too lazy this year. They are not in the shops long so you have to make the most of them while they are. I am doing. What we do pick and eat as we walk are blackberries. It is a race of time with the birds but I’m not prepared to lose, as you know, so any tactics however underhand are employed.

It is 6.30 in the evening now. We are home and the sun is strong. The temperature currently is reaching 25C/77F and it looks as if the night will be a bit uncomfortable. Hope I manage past the 3.00 am line tonight.

Thursday, 26th August, 2021

Very warm night – sticky and uncomfortable. Out walking at 6.30 this morning. My head was buzzing but the countryside was almost silent. Quite a few jobs to get through so early exercise will help. Looks to be quite an average day weather-wise but warm.

Glorious weather for our drive to Surrey yesterday. We were going to collect a box of Pauline’s family’s old photos. It was initiated by the fact that her cousin, Joyce, was celebrating her 65th wedding anniversary. At 85 years, Joyce is so much older than Pauline and the photographs really illustrate the time-gulf.

It is 1956 and I was already 5 years old but in its grainy, black & white, it feels so out of my remembered experience. We forget how ‘grey’ life could be back then. Wartime rationing had only ended fully in 1954 and things we take for granted were still in short supply. The standard of living was incredibly ‘make-do-and-mend so many weddings were done on shoestrings.

I was surprised to find out that they had received their second letter of congratulations from the Queen. Apparently, they are given for 6oth, 65th and 70th wedding anniversaries. Unlike us, Joyce & Harry have lived in the same house for almost all their married life. I can’t imagine it.

I bet they couldn’t have conceived of a beach hut like these on Littlehampton Beach selling for £30-40,000.00. Who would bother, I’m not sure but that’s the going price. I quite like going down there for a walk but I can’t imagine sitting outside a hut for the day as so many seem to. This in itself is a throwback to the time when Joyce & Harry were getting married. I remember my own parents renting a beach hut for the duration of our holiday and lunch being rustled up inside them. They are not particularly happy memories.

This photo popped up yesterday, ostensibly of boats in Kamares harbour but illustrating our former Greek home clearly nestling high in the foothills of the hillside and looking down over the port. Pauline had a Facetime video conference with her niece in Florida yesterday evening and the news is not terribly optimistic for UK-US travel in November. Apparently, there is a strong rise in infection there and, as we know, it is going up here and forecast to get worse in the Autumn.

After all our activities today, I relaxed watching the Test Match from Headingly. The garden was flooded with strong sunshine, warmth wafted through the conservatory doors but the television pictures showed a Leeds cricket ground shrouded in cloud and spectators huddled in quilted coats. Commentators talked of cold weather and I didn’t miss it one bit.

Today we had our Covid-free confirmation from the recent tests. We had our strong antibodies confirmed as well. My eye test was so good that I don’t have to repeat it for another 12 months. The only downside has been the lump in my groin which is huge today. The pain is moving around and I’m beginning to fear it might be something other than a mere hernia. We know a letter has been despatched to the surgeon but my social secretary is phoning tomorrow for an urgent review at the surgery and, if nothing can be speeded up, I will have to go privately.

Friday, 27th August, 2021

Today would have been my lovely Mother-in-Law’s 107th birthday. She died aged 97. She was the cause of us moving in to an Old People’s sheltered accomodation for the final weeks of her life. It was an education in itself and a humbling experience. She is featured on our Office wall and we talk about her regularly. She was extremely kind to me and one of the most forgiving people I have ever met. People like me need people like her.

Life feels a bit flat. There is a distinct absence of pinpricks of hope at the moment. Things to raise the spirits are fast disappearing. I was even reading the travel corespondent, Simon Calder’s assessment of the UK-US travel predctions this morning and they are so uncertain as to be gloomy. I was so tired yesterday that I went to bed at 9.00 pm and slept through until 6.00 this morning. Still feel rather tired.

I am being contacted by a doctor this morning about my problem which is becoming a bit more acute. I am attempting to push forward a precise prognosis and then we can decide whether I go privately or not. Need to get it sorted out because it’s beginning to impact on my activities. I will still walk 10 miles a day even if it is painful but it niggles the back of my mind before I set off and dominates me while I am doing it.

It was interesting to talk to P&C the other day when we went up to Surrey. They are in their mid-80s and Charlie Watts’ death had just been reported at the age of 80. I asked that really sensitive but important question: Does news like that panic you? Does it give you pause for thought. They said that it worried them more in their 70s than it does now. There seems to be an acceptance of the inevitable.

A lad from College days, Dave Weatherley, has recently taken to contacting me. Incredible to find that he is from and has been in Bolton all his life. So many students in my year were living within miles of me. He has been posting photos of a nature reserve in Bolton call Doffcocker Lodge. It is obviously somewhere he retreats to regularly. You can see why. Who would have expected this beauty in Bolton of all places?

An amusing story that I recount over my own humiliation – It is the most delightful, warm and sunny day. We have a lot to get through today so decided to go out for an early walk. I am expecting a call-back on my mobile from the doctor. We have just set off when my mobile rings. The caller says in an almost unintelligible, Indian accent: You requested a callback. It is my intention to be as convincing as possible to expedite my referral to the specialist. I launch into a description of my groin problem and how it was worsening. The caller is silent and doesn’t respond. Suddenly, the call is dropped.

I check my phone for the number and don’t recognise it. Could it have been a fluke scam? Eventually, I redial the number to get the answerphone for SpecSavers who I’d forgotten were going to call me back when my reading glasses were available. I will be a little red-faced when I call in tomorrow to collect them. Hope they don’t demand to inspect my groin first.

Saturday, 28th August, 2021

This morning is lovely, warm and sunny and we have done early shopping for fruit and then a delightful, long walk enjoying the heat. As we walked, we talked about going to France in the new car which should be ready in just over a week. I installed the French equivalent of our Covid Certification – Tous AntiCovid app.

Eventually, yesterday my doctor did ring and typed a letter to the specialist to expedite my referral for surgery. She dictated the contents as she typed so that I knew exactly what she had said. If I don’t hear very quickly, I will go to the Nuffield or the Spire which both have hospitals not far away in Chichester for treatment. One of the complicating factors is my anti-coagulant treatment. I have to admit to being fairly scared because of the potential risks but I will have to face it at some stage. I am not prepared to accept 30 more years of pain and discomfort.

I am going through a strange phase of distraction and elsewhere-ness. I’m doing stupid things because I’m thinking about other than the moment. Last night, I went to bed at around 11.30 pm and found myself shaving rather than brushing my teeth. I use electronic tools for both activities and in similar places but, honestly …

I wrote the other day that I am prone to damaging my feet. I am regularly breaking toes through clumsiness. I am also prone to cutting myself and, with anti-coagulant, the damage lasts quite a long time. This afternoon, I stubbed my toe on a Dining Chair and thought nothing else of it until the meal was over and I looked down to see the damage.

Earlier, in hot sunshine, we had done a walk, trimmed the hedges, mowed the lawns and I’d gone on to do my Gym routine before driving round to Honda to have our Licence Plate temporarily replaced with this one prior to delivery of our new car. Our cherished number plate will go on the new one and we are stuck with this for a week. Hope we don’t get stopped and challenged. There’s no way I will remember this one.

Our personalised number plate has been with us for 30 years. It was deliberately chosen to disguise the fact that we changed our car each year and each time it was silver. Staff at school began to remark that we were obviously too wealthy so we disguised it with a perpetual plate. It didn’t cost a lot but it did the job. It is a bit of a faff to move to a new car but we let Honda do that. I can’t be doing with old cars and MOTs and I love the innovations that bring us up to date. Now we will just need somewhere to drive in this new model. The last one went straight to France. I wonder if this one will.

Julia (Dagg) Crane posted a video of Christine (Burton) Dagg’s daughter, Lucy, singing and playing the piano. It caught my breath as I realised how much it reminded me of Chris when I first knew her. Heredity is an incredible thing.

Chris contacted me and gave me a YouTube link of her performance. She bills herself as part of a Leeds-based duo who perform at Weddings, Birthdays, Celebrations, etc..

The light dies over Littlehampton although a beacon retains possibility. Here is Hope and Despair juxtaposed.

Sunday, 15th August, 2021

Lovely, sunny and mild start to the day. We were 17C/63F overnight. Sunday – just another day in the time continuum.

 My wife wants to learn a new language. She’s decided on French because she wasn’t allowed to take it at Hathershaw in the 1960s. She had to do German which she hated. When she’s mastered the rudiments of French, she will add starter Spanish because there is so much crossover. I did French and Spanish at school but need to do lots of brushing up so I will go through a higher level but parallel course.

Learning Languages in senior years is said to prolong one’s mental vigour. I find reading and writing foreign languages much easier than speaking them so I will have to concentrate on the latter. We are going to start with a ‘free’ teaching app called duolingo and, if that takes off, maybe we will enroll on a language school course. This app is installed on our smartphones and iPads and involves lots of speaking. May get even more strange looks in the street!

I’ve had to admit that the pain in my groin is getting worse. The swelling is increasing as I exercise and it can no longer be ignored. My wife will phone the surgery on Monday and make me an appointment which I may attend. If it is a hernia or worse, it could need a stay in hospital. I have only ever stayed in hospital once and that was after our car accident in 1980. I don’t know about you and not to get too technical, but I sleep naked and have done since I was 18. I don’t possess any pyjamas.

When I was in hospital for 2 weeks 41 years ago, I’m told that I regularly got out of bed and wandered the ward stark naked. Of course, I was much more beautiful then. Because of the nature of my head injury, I have absolutely no memory of this at all, fortunately. Just in case I need something, my wife has purchased me the above to keep me decent …. Or so she thinks. I think they will make me look rather like Christopher Robin but I don’t complain.

Some former College students have complained that I never submit current photos of myself on social media. At last, my wife has sanctioned this exhibit from Hermes. I had just come out of the gym.  I think it has a classic touch and doesn’t give too much away. A man should have an air of mystery. Within 5 minutes, it was viewed and commented on by 140 past students. I can’t say I’m surprised!

My weight is now sub-1985 and I am beginning to wonder why it has taken me until the age of 70 to really get to grips with it. Story of my life. I do everything the hard way but I do get there in the end. It doesn’t help, of course, that my wife is such a good cook. Everywhere we go, everywhere we have lived, she has produced tempting food.

This photo was taken in our Greek home over a decade ago and is typical of what I gave in to. So you see, it’s never been my fault!

Monday, 16th August, 2021

A wonderful start to this morning. Blue sky and lovely sunshine and warmth from the start for a change. Big day! Should have been flying to Athens this morning but just couldn’t leave. Instead, I’m going out to collect my new reading glasses …. again. I might even go mad and clean the car.

Regular readers will know that I am obsessed with Time. I have been for as long as I can remember. The Blog itself is driven by my need to describe, define and control time. Its passage is marked now by the tick of a clock, the beat of a heart, the setting of the sun at the end of the day, even the appearance of grey hairs on the head urging the application of blonde dye. People often tell me that I am living in the past. You can’t go back, they say but it betrays a lack of understanding of the concept.

Yesterday morning, I was jolted by the radio at 6.00 am and immediately thrown into R4 Something Understood: The Time of our Lives. What a way to start Sunday! It wasn’t a shock. I had woken 30 mins earlier thinking of memories, of the times of my life and of experiences and conversations. They haunt my consciousness and have done all my adult life.

These days, we conceive of time as linear. It moves inexorably from A – B. From Birth to Death, from Creation to Expiration. According to Theoretical Physics, our Universe was formed by the Big Bang and that was when time & space were born. It is well portrayed by Holst in the Planets: Mars, Bringer of War.

In this concept of time, like the dark, wet cave-tunnel I described in the Blog last Saturday, there is little chance of going back but, the original and ancient concept of time was not linear as we tend to see it today. It was circular. It is this concept that Einstein re-conceived. He acknowledged the deeply mysterious nature of time & space and argued that the separation of Past, Present and Future is an illusion. Each element is relative to the other. Even TS Eliot recognised the circularity of life. In Sweeney Agonistes he wrote:

Birth, and copulation, and death.
That’s all the facts when you come to brass tacks:
Birth, and copulation, and death.

Many experiences of time are circular in nature – Night-Day-Night, the changing of the seasons: We’re captive on a carousel of time… sang Joni Mitchell in The Circle Game.

Ancient societies, which were founded upon Agriculture, were far more in touch with the cycle of Nature. Only relatively recently with the advent of recorded history have we started to think of time as past, present and future. We are constantly striving for a better future. It is part of the human condition.

Simon & Garfunkel wrote and performed an incredibly powerful elegy to the passage of time on an ill-fated love affair using the seasons as their vehicle: April Come She Will …

The autumn winds blow chilly and cold
September, I’ll remember
A love once new has now grown old ….

These are classic expressions of the modern world. Time is both circular and linear at the same time. We live in our past and present at one and the same time. We may try to block or deny it but that is futile. We are animals with memories. We take them both forward to our future. I will not, cannot and would not want to relinquish my past even if I could. Nor will I let it escape me. It informs and enriches my present. It will be an intimate part of me into the future and until I die …. or lose my memory.

Psalm 90 says: Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. My Blog numbers our days until past, present and future become one.

Tuesday, 17th August, 2021

Overcast but forecast to be dry all day. Really will have to clean the car today. We have been invited to Honda on Friday morning to discuss a ‘special offer’ for changing the car. We’ve only done 8,000 miles but it is 2 years old and about as long as we’ve kept any car. If Honda come up with a really attractive offer for ours and replacement with a new one, I could easily be tempted.

Our current one cost £42,500.00 just over 2 years ago. A replacement is listed at £45,500.00. That includes 5 years servicing plus 5 years Hondacare Roadside Assistance in UK and Europe. We will go with an open mind. Might even park it by an Italian lake like this. Need a bit of self indulgence!

Yesterday was sunny and warm. We drove down to the beach and spent a few minutes just enjoying the sound of the sea and the gulls. We were almost the only ones there. It is so nice to be able to access this environment quickly and easily.

Medical Science has finally caught up with me. My wife phoned for an appointment for me yesterday morning. A ‘triage’ telephone consultation was arranged for the afternoon. In that conversation with a paramedic, I was invited down to the surgery in the evening.

I never go into that sort of meeting without my own research. I was reasonably certain that my problem is an Inguinal Hernia and that the only way to solve it would be surgery. I also got the feeling from the earlier phone call that they were reluctant to put me forward for it unless my life was threatened as it could be but only in extremis. I went prepared for the discussion.

After being examined, the paramedic confirmed he thought it was a hernia but said they are rarely operated on these days. I told him that wasn’t true and that this is probably an Inguinal which should be operated on. Some people’s faces give everything away. His certainly did although his mouth could not quite keep up with his mind.

He became a different person instantly. We’ll send you for an ultrasound and that will decide if you need to speak to a Consultant Surgeon, he said. I asked about timescales and he burbled. I thanked him for his time and left. By the time I had driven home – less than 5 minutes – he was on the phone to say he had consulted my doctor and that the ultrasound stage would not be needed. I would be referred urgently to a Consultant Surgeon. And that, dear reader, is how the inarticulate or ill-educated can be so done down by the gatekeepers of state services. I could easily have deferred to that medic, accepted his view and walked out to an ongoing lifetime of pain and discomfort. It should not be so.

Wednesday, 18th August, 2021

Went to bed happy and slept well. Woke to glowering, dark skies but warm – 17C/63F. Took Pauline to the Beauty Clinic early yesterday morning and driving her to the Hairdresser’s early today. We always book ‘early’ appointments for everything we can. People who know we are retired are regularly surprised. Workers expect retirement to be a chance for staying in bed. Nothing could be further from the truth for me.

It was just 5 years ago today that I made the wrenching decision to give away all my pictures. I had collected them over a 40 year period and they had been carefully wrapped and catalogued for storage but I quickly realised they would never fit in our new, modern home. They were collected by the Hospice organisation, St Barnabas House and will have been sold for around £3,000 – £4,000.00. For quite some time they gave us updates.

Along with an obsession with time goes my fascination with the human connection across the years. I am gripped and saddened in equal measure. The most recent series of Long Lost Family has been a must-watch/can’t watch for me. The sofa is still damp from the previous week’s episode when I sit down to watch the next. What is most striking for me are the similarities rather than the differences in each narrative. The search begins with trepidation because of the initial feeling of rejection. Why was I rejected? is the primary question.

So many of the searches are for people who have tried for years to find the person they are separated from but have never really had the skills or know-how to be successful themselves. Some have put off searching for fear of rejection all over again or for fear of upsetting others in their lives. When they are about to be reunited, often their first questions are about what the person they are looking for looks like, then about their welfare and, finally, they ask the question, Do they want to see me? All the time, they are looking for and fearing the merest hint of rejection.

The rewards of the meeting are tangible, immense and, probably unknowable for those who haven’t lost. There is a sense of lifelong search and aching longing being over. The anxiety on their faces almost melts away in real-time. The worst outcome is when they find their connection too late. Death has beaten them and the longing is never satisfied or, even worse is when they find their connection but are rejected all over again and they are subject to lifelong torture.

So many expressions of reaching out over the years are displayed in accounts of former college students of my year regularly posted on social media.  Peter Holgate recently gathered his family around him to ‘celebrate’ his 70^th birthday.

Tash Coates and his wife now regularly meet up with his old friend, Kevin Sellers and his wife as they are photographed here on the Murray Firth on the north coast of Scotland.

Thursday, 19th August, 2021

I’m sure you will remember where you were and what you were doing on this day exactly 30 years ago, dear reader. Of course, you do! We all remember where we were on the day when the success of the attempted coup against Mikhail Gorbachev, led by hard-line communist elements of the Soviet government and military was in the balance. The fall of communist Soviet Union was also in the balance although the reunification of East & West Germany was well on the way.

Where was I? I was 40 years old and excitedly clutching my Roberts Shortwave World Radio to my ear with the BBC World Service broadcasting the developments in minute detail. Why? Well, because in those days my only contact with the real world while touring Greek islands was via the radio. No Broadband; no smartphones; no digital, satellite TV; just old-fashioned transistor radio and largely unintelligible Greek television blaring out the crisis. (The Greeks have long been allies of the Russians.) Where was I clutching my transistor? I was spending 3 weeks on the volcanic, Dodecanese Island of Nysiros.

 Nysiros was/is a tiny island with little tourist accommodation and meagre infrastructure which is what attracted me to it in the first place. I think I was running away. We were staying in the one, reasonable quality hotel which had a pool. Looking back, I am struck by how basic the Hotel Porfyris really was. What I didn’t know at the time was that the name, Porfyris, is the Greek for purple and came from a description of the colour of unhealthy urine. (Hope you’re still with me, dear reader.)

The one claim to fame of the island of Nysiros is that it is centred by a semi-dormant volcano. It was still smoking when we walked across it. We felt its heat under our feet and collected these warm stones shown above. The photograph shows chunks of volcanic rock collected 30 years ago but, actually, thousands of years old. The postcard is part of the collection I sent to myself from each island to greet us when we got home. At that time, Pauline was Head of Year and, as we walked in the harbour, she met a lad from her Year who had come over with his parents from Kos for a day trip to visit the volcano.

It was such a grey and dark day yesterday all day. We had the lights on for breakfast at 6.30 am. The scene on the street as I dropped Pauline off for her haircut was grey and depressing. I am trying hard to carry sunshine inside me and to look forward to future trips. This week, I am reviewing the requirements for a French trip in early September. It is so onerous with 2 tests to be booked and undertaken – one in France and another back here – that it seems to make a short trip not worth the effort. We have our trip to the North in October and then hope the US opens up in time to go over in November.

I was cold overnight and woke at 4.30 am. I hate that. I’m so wracked by thoughts that I can rarely get back to sleep. Let’s hope the day brightens and warms up. Picked figs from the garden for breakfast this morning but there are nowhere near as many as last year because of the weather.

Nil Desperandum … The sun is out and the day is warm by 11.00 am. We’ve been out plundering Tesco and Asda for half-price Shloer. I’ve bought up all the red and I’m on to the white at the moment. I’ve cleared the shelves in both supermarkets if you were thinking of buying. Now we’re going out for a walk in the sunshine.

Friday, 20th August, 2021

Up early on a very warm and humid morning with a clear, blue sky and strong sunshine. It had rained overnight which is the right organisation. At last I got the car valeted yesterday in time for our meeting at Honda this morning. I’ve done an on-line valuation and know how much they will need to offer for our current car. We also know how desperate they are to shift new cars in a very ‘flat’ market. We will expect some deep discounting to capture our interest. Looking forward to the game.

Took this photo of Pauline on this day in 2009 in our Greek home. It was a very hot day in real terms – 30C+/90F+ – throughout the day and not much cooler at night. Of course, 12 years on, she is much slimmer now. She has been forced to support my fitness/diet regime and her weight has fallen dramatically until she is fast approaching her wedding weight from 1978. We both feel so much better for our weight loss and increased levels of fitness. For me, it will continue to be a lifelong struggle.

At the same time, my instincts are screaming that our lives are running away without any fightback from us. I am constantly denying myself things and forcing myself to complete exercise goals. Keep hearing temptation on my shoulder: Go on. Give in. You could be dead soon and then you’ll regret not indulging yourself.

We heard the shocking news about the untimely death of Sean Locke, a highly intelligent and thoughtful comedian and an extremely perceptive but quietly spoken man who has succumbed to cancer at the age of 58…..58!! He had been successfully treated for skin cancer some years before but it had come back to take him. Not to be too morbid but life is highly unpredictable. We cannot afford to ‘mark time’.

My old digs-mate, John Ridley, is displaying real optimism at the age of 72 by going out and buying himself a new boat to sail up in the Lake District. He appears to make the trip from his North Yorkshire home very regularly in the Summer months and Dave Roberts seems to spend half his time there as well. The Lake District has never really held much attraction for me. It’s not Mediterranean enough!

After years of very big gardens, we are fairly minimalist these days, The drive is one area we do plant up and these little fuchsias are lighting up the beds this summer.

I’m repeating myself, I know, but their name is Janey. As I’ve said before, there are a lot of Janes in my life. Indeed, it is a name running through the history of my family. I love Jane as the female equivalent of John.  I was going to call my daughter Rebecca-Jane but these fuchsias were planted in memory of my lovely Mother-in-Law who would be 107 next week. These shrubs die away every Winter and then magically re-emerge in the Spring. They seem to symbolise her tenacity for survival against all life threw at her.

Thought I’d share with you a lovely, drone shot of our local pier in Worthing that appeared yesterday. The tide is out and the Worthing ‘Eye’ is on the left of the pier. Coming off the back of the pier would mean going left to Goring, Ferring, Rustington and Littlehampton or going right to Lancing, Shoreham by Sea, Hove and Brighton.

Saturday, 21st August, 2021

Yesterday, we went to Honda Littlehampton to discuss the idea of a new car. It will be like-for-like but just a bit cleaner and fresher smelling. In the 2 years since we bought the current one, Honda have added a wireless phone charger in the central console which will be helpful. I already knew that I expected a price of £30,00.00 for our old car as a minimum. They offered £28,000.00 and we walked away. An hour later, as we did our walk in the sunshine, they phoned and offered £30,000.00 and I accepted.

We should get our new car in three weeks’ time. The only thing we couldn’t get is exactly the colour we wanted. We have had silver for the past 40 years with a couple of ‘zany’ exceptions. We had decided on gun-metal grey this time, but the wait would have been January 2022. We decide to accept silver and an immediate delivery. They will do all the troublesome bits like swapping the cherished number plate, etc..

We went to our Italian tomato supplier. Filamenos, the patriarch, is a sad, old 81 year old man. He is from southern Italy originally although his name is Greek and means Good Friend. I spent some time talking to him. He came to Angmering 60 years ago and found employment in the market gardening industry of the early 20^th century.

Our whole area has some of the most fertile soil in the country and the most warmth and sunshine although you wouldn’t believe it this year. Filamenos and his son grow tomatoes, Peppers, Basil, Figs, Lemons etc.. He is sad, bordering on depressive. He is 81 years old. His wife died 26  years ago. He is lonely and sad. When I asked him whether he would like to be in Italy or Sussex, he replied by pointing to the earth. I would rather be under here, he said. I can understand the total loss like that which leads to despair. I felt for him, put my arm around him in solidarity as he walked me round his greenhouses proudly showing me fruiting lemon trees and huge, fig trees, aubergine plants and acres of tomatoes.

Later yesterday,we walked in the sunshine although my hernia was really troublesome, and I had to manage it carefully. It is incredibly painful, and I was hit by a huge sense of sadness last night. Is this all there is?

This morning is appropriately grey although very warm and we are going out for an early walk in case it rains. Then it will be humdrum jobs like lawn cutting and hedge trimming if the weather allows. Could it get any better?

Sunday, 8th August, 2021

Another fitful sleep last night. Woke at 4.30 am. The mornings are a bit darker and the evenings darken noticeably earlier now. The days are shortening. Is Summer over? Schools go back in 4 weeks. Lucky teachers!

Feeling lighter this morning. I always find eating fish for my meal makes me feel better, less heavy and ponderous. Wonderful Sea Bass fillets from the fish farms of Igoumenitsa in Greece for my meal yesterday and Samphire from the estuaries around the coast of North Wales – an excellent place to come from – made a fantastic meal.

I could eat fish everyday for ever. I wish I could reel them in myself. Lots of calcium for regeneration of old bones. Plenty of omega-3 fatty acids and vitamins such as D and B2. My new bathroom scales say my bone density is good for my age and, inspite of all this walking/cycling/jogging, I show no signs of knee or hip problems. What’s a dodgy groin amongst friends. Don’t answer that!

Next week, we should have been flying to Athens, Although I feel slightly regretful we cancelled, overall I am relieved. Covid is rampant there at the moment. Wildfires are leading to evacuations across the city and the Peloponnese and daytime temperatures are above 100F currently. Would love to be world-watching in baking sun with an iced Café Frappé. Even as far away as our Cycladic island, the fires from Attica were clouding the sunny skies with smoke drifting across the beaches. Wouldn’t volunteer to experience that especially in the heat. Even wet Wales seems more attractive.

For those still labouring under the misapprehension that they live in the best country in Europe with a world-beating government, this should give them pause for thought.

Imagine not having a private pension and having to rely on the State alone. Well, it doesn’t bear thinking about for someone at the end of their life. 

Monday, 9th August, 2021

The weather was wet yesterday although we had a wonderfully hot and sunny section for our walk. Overnight, Shakespearian weather – strong winds, torrential rain and thunder woke me at 4.00 am. The dramatist used it to symbolise the breaking and cleansing of the old world, and the reordering of old relationships in a new world. I was up drinking tea and watching BBC news until 5.00 am and then, of course, found it difficult to go back to sleep.

This morning has started off the same way. It will get better … we are told. It’s just that I have to put all the bins out this morning. I really do need a little slave! Anyway, I’ll just have to keep my exercise routine going and look to the future.

Unbelievably, it is 4 years since the death of Viv. Butterworth and we send our heartfelt condolences to Richard on what must be an even more difficult day. We often talk about her and she lives on in our memories.

My weight is reducing and my clothes need replacing. I spent an hour or so of Sunday morning removing 23 long sleeve and 26 short sleeve T-shirts from my ‘casual’ wardrobe. They are going to have to be taken to the Hospice Shop. Some still have their purchase labels attached so haven’t been worn. I must admit to feeling a little ashamed of this self-indulgence but at least I admit it. So, now, my sports/casual wear and my suits/shirts/formal wear all need replacing. I’m enjoying being lighter and I am determined to never return to that size.

In the Gym, I am watching the 2^nd series of Bitter Daisies on Netflix. It is a thriller set in Galicia. I can see why it won awards because it is well written. Watching it on a treadmill is a bit of a risky proposition because I am having to read subtitles and stupid people like me find it difficult to do two things at the same time. If you remember, they always used to say about President Ford who constantly had gum in his mouth and fell down the plane steps on disembarking that he couldn’t chew and walk at the same time. I’m a bit like that with my mind constantly somewhere else and, watching a film, I am completely lost in it like a child.

People told me that I would enjoy Line of Duty long ago. I resisted until recently and then we watched Series 1, Episode 1. Halfway through, we gave up and thought it wasn’t for us. We were persuaded to go back to it and got absolutely hooked. We are already well into Series 2. Keeley Hawes is such a good actress and she speaks without subtitles. My problem is remembering which plot I’m in from Bitter Daisies or Line of Duty. The crossover is confusing. I think it will be a sign of success when I feel I don’t need to escape but can just enjoy the real world. I wonder what will make that happen.

Throughout the past 40 years, we have pushed hard to save, invest and improve our financial positions. We tried to balance the pain with pleasure. We didn’t deny ourselves experiences like travel and entertainment but, more than anything else, we ploughed cash into property and always tried to go further than was comfortable.

We experienced interest rates at 15% at one stage and, although it seems small beer now, borrowing £¼million in the 1980s felt pushing it. I know that we didn’t have to find the size of deposit that is required nowadays but just a glance at the chart on the left suggests a big leap of faith is well worth taking for young house buyers. I would advise hurting themselves in the short term for the pleasure of the future.

I have spent all these years trying to educate myself in classical music and opera, eschewing ‘pop’ music as if it would corrupt me. In just the same way, I have told myself that fiction is unnecessary escapism and that fact is where truth lies. In my dotage, I find that the fiction of film is exactly what I need to escape the persecution of fact and some ‘pop’ music speaks so directly to me that I’ve become infatuated by it. These two elements have combined to fix me in this song:

Some would say I am returning to my juvenilia. I say I am going forward to an excitingly invigorating future!

Tuesday, 10th August, 2021

Great sleep last night for the first time for a couple of days. I’ve written before that I virtually never dream or I’m not aware of it at least. Last night, I dreamed I was a ruthless blackmailer. I turned out to be quite good at it with my acumen for record-keeping. I also woke with my face stinging as if I’d burnt it in the sun yesterday … or was it walking through hellfire overnight? Woken up with real optimism this morning which makes me feel good.

This morning has opened dry and fairly sunny and yesterday turned lovely and hot for our walk. According to our forecast, we have a couple of weeks of dry weather to come which will be nice after Sunday night. We have a Covid Lateral Flow Test and Blood Antibody test at 8.00 am. I am expecting two, DPD deliveries including my new lawnmower. Then I have to go down to the surgery for my Shingles injection. How I will cope with the excitement, I don’t know.

Well Thierry, a delightful, gay Frenchman has spent an hour in the sunshine of our garden providing our latest Covid Tests. He is a bee keeper and says this season has been one of the worst. It certainly has been for our figs.

When we were trawling through a box of photograph memories last night, this young man fell out. I last saw him in 1995 just after he left school. He had spent the Summer term after exams at our house doing some building work but he had worked with me in school for 5 years learning computer management skills and become an adoptee, coming out on meals, trips to the coast, etc..

Mark was one of those delightful human beings who made life seem worth living. We still laugh at his expression when we took him to the bakery in our village and bought a freshly, baked loaf. He took one look and then in astonishment exclaimed, No way is that bread not sliced! For me, it was his syntax that made me laugh but, he had never experienced good bread in his life only sliced, white pap. I put out a query to other adoptees and was told last night that Mark had moved to London recently and was living there. May have to look him up.

The influential, political blog, Reaction, ran an article by Deloitte’s Chief Economist this week headed:

UK house price boom is here to stay

Brexit and the pandemic are now making significant changes to the UK’s housing market. But their effects are likely to be more pronounced in narrow sub-markets (micro) rather than come in the form of broad-based (or macro) changes. As migration slows and post-pandemic hybrid working arrangements transfer households from cities to suburbs or adjoining towns and villages, demand is likely to be better distributed geographically.

This might mean weaker prices in urban conurbations but strong demand in adjoining areas. As people place greater emphasis on space, demand for small flats is likely to weaken while pushing up prices of larger properties with outdoor space.

Worth bearing in mind as I was considering investing in inner-city apartments. I have gone back to reconsider Spanish holiday apartments which are likely to be more popular than ‘communal’ hotel environments for some time to come. The development in Aguilas, Murcia is still available at circa £120,000.00 and there are plenty more starting around £75,000.00. As soon as we start European driving again, Aguilas must be a priority.

Of course, a major setback will be the use of our smartphones which provide so much service abroad normally to access information apps and radio/tv media. Now, we will have to pay at least £1.00 a day to even access the network all as a benefit of Brexit.

Wednesday, 11th August, 2021

Quite a grey start to the day this morning at 6.00 am. The long-range forecast says we can expect no rain for two weeks but temperatures are not expected to be great.

About 10 years ago or so, I fell out of bed in my sleep while I was in Greece. I hit my head on the bedside cabinet and ripped my ear on the sharp corner. It bled for hours and I should have had it stitched but that is not easy on a small island and I just left it to heal. I did it again last night, crashing into the bedside cabinet and cutting my arm and almost taking out my left eye. I must stop being so vigorous, especially with my groin! My arm is already very painful from my Shingles jab yesterday.

Took delivery of a new lawnmower yesterday and was outside trying to start it around 7.00 this morning. Took a while to get used to a new system but I got there. I love that sort of techie challenge. It is cordless like my current one. It makes mowing the lawns so easy. I was always put off by the effort of starting classic petrol ones and hated corded electric even more. It takes about an hour to fully charge and runs for around 40 mins which is plenty. I’m actually inclined to do the house vacuuming because the machine is also cordless.

Of course, now I need to get rid of the old mower. We have excellent Recycling Sites around here but, recently, they are requiring us to book a slot for visiting. It’s a bit of a pain but retirement makes it easier.

The day has turned lovely, warm and sunny. Blue sky and 22C/70F. We’ve done our walk, been to Sainsbury‘s for Courgettes to griddle in the garden this afternoon with Tuna steaks and now I’m going in the Gym for an hour. It will help me calm down and stave off the next topic a while longer.

The Guardian is featuring this morning an article on a really important topic for people of my generation – the Care System. The problem is that no government is prepared to take on such a thorny issue because it involves forcing difficult funding decisions on people. Because I have no children and no one to leave my estate to, I was always attracted to my assets being sequestered after my death to pay for it – notoriously dubbed the death tax. I am really not worried about dying and I’m certainly not worried about my estate. You really can’t take it with you!

Building up a good savings pot is important for enjoying life but equally important in those final years to death.  I don’t think the public sector is ever going to provide truly acceptable conditions and we will have to fund it ourselves if we can.

On the edge of our Development, work is well on the way on the construction of a 64-bed Hallmark care home which will provide residential and dementia care. The luxury development is being constructed at a cost of £11m on a 1.9-acre site. Of course, it won’t be cheap but it will include a café, a state-of-the-art cinema, a hairdressing salon and therapy room. Spacious bedrooms will have their own full en-suites with showers and all bedrooms on the ground floor will have access to their own patio. Other innovations will include an ice cream parlour, reminiscence lounge, garden room, and an outdoor roof terrace. I’m putting our names down. We can grow old together in luxury!

Thursday, 12th August, 2021

What a lovely day it turned out to be after an uncertain start yesterday. Really warm for our walk. This morning looks as if it’s going a similar way. Apart from a Sainsbury’s and a fish delivery early on, we have a clear diary today so we might go down to the beach.

All the main roads around the outskirts of our village are being redeveloped – widened into dual carriageways to cope with the additional traffic brought about by house building. I often wondered what sorts of jobs people do who move here. A lot of the high-end housing is snapped up by London commuters or techie homeworkers but the Service Industry and, in particular, Retail Supply and Delivery is massively expanding.

An Amazon Warehouse & Distribution Centre was opened about 5 miles away and long lines of these vans started to stream through the village in mid-morning out on delivery. It must have been very annoying for villagers and complaints have finally re-routed them but the L.A. has had to balance the creation of lots of new jobs against residents’ irritation. The MEN yesterday featured a new Amazon Centre in Kingsway Business Park, Rochdale which will create around 150 new jobs so valuable to the area but something to watch.

I moved to Oldham with my little friend in 1972. I don’t mind admitting that it was a massive culture shock for me. I had never lived in a town in my life. I hadn’t even spent much time in any town at all. I was particularly struck by the awful state of the buildings in general and the domestic dwellings in particular. Blake’s phrase, Dark Satanic Mills seemed to be written with Oldham in mind. I remember searching for a flat was so depressing and soul-destroying that I began to think we had done the wrong thing.

This is Barker Street which ran between Rochdale Road and the Market. This is the time we arrived in Oldham. I gulp when I see it and wonder what the hell I was doing in the town. I don’t even really remember why we went there in the first place.

No one who regularly shops in supermarkets can have failed to notice the signs of supply chain problems. Last week it was bottled water. This week it is French/Italian cheese and quite low stocks of fresh fruit and vegetables. Racks spread wide but thinly to disguise the shortages.

This morning, I read a really interesting and informed Twitter thread about serious shortages in the Construction Industry not just of labour which is affecting Agriculture as well but materials. Social Media is full of cartoons like this but the situation is much more serious than that. The knock-on effects for all of us could have major implications.

The headline is that construction costs have gone up about 40-60% on average. Electricians will not quote for jobs now unless they are immediate starts as the wholesale cost for cabling/copper is only guaranteed by the wholesaler for 3 days. Fixed price quotes are now a thing of the past. Cement and plaster have doubled in price. Some timber has tripled. Many Brickyards have zero bricks in stock and some roof tiles now have a 48-week lead time. Almost one whole year.

Our new, Italian neighbours had two tiles fly off the roof in the recent winds and no one can source the right colour replacements. I stupidly smashed a huge, conservatory window 10 days ago. The glazier came round within 4 hrs but he warned us there were virtually no replacement units available and we still haven’t got one. Fortunately, it crazed the outside pane of the double glazing but didn’t affect the inside.

All this might sound fairly trivial but it has huge implications for the economy in general and the housing market in particular. It will create two opposing pressures. The U.K. economy is underpinned by housing/building. The eye-watering increase in cost will inevitably lead to higher house prices, but they’re already so unaffordable that too much of an increase could lead to a collapse. This could, potentially, trigger a U.K. ring-fenced credit crunch. If that happens, everything will get more expensive for the U.K.. Interest rates and inflation would go through the roof. Do not be retired in that environment.

Friday, 13th August, 2021

The date suggests that this will not be the luckiest one but don’t worry, dear reader, that’s a lot of nonsense.

In my beginning is my end ….

Strange pattern to the days at the moment. For the 3^rd day running, yesterday opened grey and damp but turned gloriously hot and sunny. Today is fairly overcast at 6.30 am. Completed my 183^rd consecutive day of exercise goal. I’ve gone so far, you would have to shoot me to stop me now. Pretty sure I’ve got a hernia in my groin but I’m not prepared to let it affect my routine so the doctor will have to fit a solution around that.

Out at sea the dawn wind
Wrinkles and slides. I am here
Or there, or elsewhere. In my beginning.

Finally, the glazier has given us a price for the window unit replacement and it is excellent at £160.00 although I don’t think he has been able to source one yet. Must be more careful with my strimmer in future.

The time of the coupling of man and woman
And that of beasts. Feet rising and falling.
Eating and drinking. Dung and death.

On this day in 1961 under the auspices of Kruschev, The Berlin wall was erected. The Berlin Wall was a guarded concrete barrier that physically and ideologically divided Berlin. Construction of the wall was commenced by the German Democratic Republic on 13 August 1961. The Wall cut off West Berlin from surrounding East Germany, including East Berlin. I was 10 years old and I remember my parents’ discussion about it around the dining table.  

I was 38 before it fell and, when it did, few were prepared for it. The West Germans took great risks and invested huge amounts of money reintegrating their backward Eastern half. They have even elected an East German citizen Chancellor of Germany for the past 16 years. Now, European internal borders are completely open other than to Brexit Britain. I do miss the long, cross Europe drives

I can’t sleep through the moments
All the moments you’ve stolen ..

Fresh, dressed, Devon Crabs for our meal yesterday with green salad and tarragon tzatziki in the sunshine was absolutely wonderful. Actually, it was so good, I ate too much. Must control myself!

Sorry about all the quotes interspersed this morning but they have been flooding through my mind over night and it seemed the best way to clear it. All but the last couplet come from T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets: East Coker. The only explanation I can offer is that an item about a crime in East Coker came up on a newsfeed yesterday and it immediately triggered a memory of the long poem that I last read in the mid-1970s.

If you want to know how juvenile my humour is, turn your volume on and listen to this clip. I almost fell off my chair shrieking with laughter.

Saturday, 14th August, 2021

Many years ago, when I was about 14 years old, I went caving with a group of boys. The experience is hard to visualise unless you were there but, essentially, we went out of the sunshine through an increasingly narrowing cave entrance to a rapidly dark and confining tunnel. Eventually, we were crawling on our hands and knees in water and pitch darkness through a tight tunnel where we couldn’t stand up and could only go forward or back according to the person in front and behind us. I can remember the ‘trapped’ feeling rising in me. Although I didn’t know the term, claustrophobia at the time, that’s clearly what I was experiencing and it was a useful learning experience. That is how we test ourselves.

Woke up this morning with a sense of sadness and distance. My past seems untouchable and down a tight, dark tunnel in which I’m stuck. My future is dark and unknowable. I can’t go forward or back and am reliant on those behind and in front. I am suffering from temporal claustrophobia.

My 14-year-old self got through the tight tunnel and was able to stand up in the most beautiful, high-ceilinged chamber. The nightmare was that, to get back, I had to go through the whole experience again. The nightmare of time is that we can never go back but only move forward into the darkness.

Once again this Saturday morning, the light is poor and vaguely grey and … again by 11.00 am, the sky is clear blue and the sun is hot for our walk. As the afternoon has progressed, we have touched 24C/75F. This mirrors a lovely afternoon and evening of hot sunshine yesterday. The Mediterranean corner of our garden was flooded with warmth. The fig trees and Canarian tree and Mediterranean herbs were all loving it. Beautiful, crescent moon last night and warm overnight.

On this weekend each year, the Greeks go on holiday for around 2 weeks. In teaching times, we would already have been there for a fortnight and, suddenly, the island and its shops would become flooded with double the number of customers. In retirement, we would have been there for 4+ months already and were preparing to book hotels and ferries for our return drive through Europe in a couple of months.

For all the lovely weather, the gorgeous, warm sea-swimming, the delicious taverna food and the stimulating challenge of coping with a foreign language and culture, there comes a time when change is desired. Of all the things we longed for, a well-stocked, British supermarket was high on the list. The Windmill Supermarket was lovely. Run by Maria, it supplied us with fresh oranges from her father’s orchard and eggs from their own chickens, pork from the next-door farm, etc. but so many of the staples one gets used to at home were difficult to find.

These sorts of projects are always risky.  Must admit I’ve always thought that taking a risk was the only way to move forward. I am a risk-taker although I do try to think things through and do due diligence as well. Buying land and laying out £200,000.00 in a building project on a small, Greek island was always going to carry an element of risk. It paid off and gave us a lot of pleasure but it took some nerve.

It’s impossible, said Pride.
It’s risky, said Experience.
It’s pointless, said reason.
Give it a try, whispered the Heart.

If you want something better. If you want something to change. The only way is to hold your nerve and take a bit of risk. The rewards can be enormous. Some old people in a Care Home once told us: Don’t hold back. Do it. You only get one life and it is short. We regret not having followed our dreams. As they spoke, they were confined to an immobile, old age in fraying chairs and watching the traffic pass on the road outside – not able to go back and waiting for their future to come them, regretting the opportunities they hadn’t grasped, the risks they hadn’t taken.

Sunday, 1st August, 2021

New month, new week, new day. August already although it feels more like April or September. In Greece, they are expecting temperatures of 42-46C/108-115F over the coming week and that might be a little excessive but we are forecast 20C/68F for the first week in AUGUST.

In spite of the forecast, yesterday was lovely, sunny and warm throughout. We really enjoyed visiting our new, local Italian nursery and buying a variety of tomatoes, peppers and garlic.

The family is from Southern Italy and grow tomatoes, aubergines, peppers, garlic, basil, fennel – all the sorts of Summer vegetables to build an Italian feast. They also grow their own fig trees and grapevines and make their own, family version of Montepulciano d’Abruzzo as they would have done back home. We are surrounded by former commercial nurseries around here and the Italians had just bought one up to use for small-scale production. We have told our new, Italian neighbours.

This produce will help me in next week’s push for a renewed diet. I will be eating lots of Italian tomatoes, homegrown basil and Greek olive oil. It’s making me hungry just thinking about it.

Yesterday, we had already done a good walk in the sunshine and I followed that with about 90 mins in the Gym. I was watching an award-winning Galician television series, Bitter Daisies (O Sabor das Margaridas) which is 2 series of 12 x 70 mins episodes. Should keep me going for a while.

I think I’m going to need it. Feel a bit deserted. The Summer is disappearing fast and there is little good weather to look forward to. Travel is still very uncertain. The Tories seem to be making it deliberately difficult to place confidence in a booking for Europe. Plan as we might, there is not a lot to look out to.

At least this morning is reasonably pleasant and we are going out for an early walk. Rain is forecast for this afternoon which is a bit dispiriting. …. Actually, the clouds parted and I felt the burning sun as I walked. Amazing how quickly things can change when you put your mind to it. It is almost like parallel universes – the forecasts and the actualités. Perhaps we make our own predictions!

Monday, 2nd August, 2021

Up at 6.00 am to early sunshine but the sky soon clouded over and the forecast is not good. If we are to have a walk, it must be in the morning before any rain arrives. Great start to the morning. Switched the kettle on and tripped the entire power network to the house. Scrabbling around for the battery/fuse store box and resetting the main switches, resetting the cooker clock, the Sky-Q boxes and the wi-fi connections between them – all before my orange juice! A new kettle is to be ordered this morning.

I like tea but I love coffee. I particularly love freshly ground coffee and I’m excited to have found some wonderful beans by accident. Ran out of normal beans and, passing Waitrose, I bought these to try. They taste like butterscotch and toffee mixed with dark coffee. I love it.

This week over the years was a popular time for events like weddings and christenings. I like to record them in order to keep control of time. If I don’t, time runs away unnoticed and I can’t allow that. If we don’t control Nature then Nature will dominate us … as I point out to the lawns every time I cut them. Yesterday was 40 years since we attended Jill & Geoff’s wedding in Middleton. I don’t have a photo of this, unfortunately.

Today, it is 40 years exactly since we attended the christening of Sue & Eddie’s daughter, Laura in Halifax. It says more about us than her that she is 40 years old now and her 70-year-old parents live permanently on Gozo off the island of Malta. We have been hoping to visit them for quite some time. What a social whirl we lived in then – wedding one day and christening the next.

I had been bought my first SLR camera for Christmas 1980 and was still learning to use it. Focusing clearly was a little bit tricky still and I hadn’t fully mastered it. Even so, I absolutely loved the challenge and threw the Polaroid away instantly. Just one, standard lens to start with and then I added a wide-angle and a telephoto. Soon, I was having to lug a huge, photographer’s bag of equipment around along with a tripod.

I got into moody, artistic (or what I thought were) shots and was always sending off reels of film to those postal service developers that were the mainstay of cheap prints in the 1980s. Look at these magnificent figures from 1981.

Of course, the downside is in the comparison with today. From these beautiful, young (well 30 year old) things to the old wrinklies of today. Actually, on exactly that subject, I am looking for a professional mouth coach. My wife is standing in at the moment but it is too much to ask of her ultimately.

I have known for a long time but have been savagely reminded recently that I walk around half my time (maybe more) with my mouth open like some vacant, old man and I DRIBBLE!! For someone whose nickname is Sex-on-Legs, it is not a good look. For me, it is almost as bad! I have to be reminded constantly to breathe through my nose and out through my mouth. This morning, I was reviewing the CCTV footage from the past 24 hrs and a man came out of our house, overweight, hair thinning and with his mouth open looking like a loon. Who the hell could it be? I suddenly realised it was me. I’ve got to do something about that now! Experienced Mouth Coaches please apply. Good rates of pay but no holidays.

Not many photos of me nowadays. Who wants to look at moody shots of a vacant, old man with his mouth open? That’s why so many of my generation are snapping shots of the countryside on smartphones – well, those who can cope with modern technology.

There are still some people without smartphones! How do they cope? Still see a few old people ambling uncertainly back from the newsagents with Daily Express/Mail under their arm in the mornings. They are obviously Brexit supporters! My newspaper – The Times – is delivered to 2 x iPads at 5.00 am every day for a third of the price of one paper edition excluding travel or delivery and all that grubby newsprint. I fear for their ability to exist in this fast-changing world.

The computer controls of all new cars will terrify them. How will they cope? Soon, they won’t be able to manage new TVs, new fridges, new everything. The internet of things is taking over. Could be scope for a good IT teacher!

Tuesday, 3rd August, 2021

Went out for a walk in light rain yesterday morning. The swelling in my groin was agony and my wife is insisting on making an appointment with the doctor for me. As soon as she said that, the pain cleared up but she still phoned when we got home. Fortunately, there are no available appointments. I might get away with it and buy time for the problem to solve itself as I so often do. Can’t decide what to do about anything at the moment. Life is rather imploding. Puts a dodgy groin into perspective somewhat.

I just love gadgets and we’ve ordered another one. It was only the fuse in our kettle which failed yesterday but the whole thing is looking the worse for wear after 5 hard years’ work so a new one is justified. Over the past 5 years in this house, Pauline has migrated from tea & coffee to just peppermint tea to only drinking hot water. I can’t even begin to imagine such an existence but it suits her. Of course, she can’t cope with the temperature of immediately boiled water and it needs topping up with cold. I have found the perfect answer.

This new kettle has Variable Temperature Control which features 4 temperature control settings and a keep warm function that continually keeps water at the selected temperature for 30 mins. What more could a gadget-freak want?

The weather is on the gloomy side of good this morning. I have to mow the lawns. Pauline has been persuaded not to phone the surgery again this morning for an appointment. I’m going to give natural recovery a chance.

Well, the day couldn’t get much better. I was mowing and edging the back lawn. I have a strimmer to do the edging. At one point, a pebble flirts up and I hear it hit a door. A cursory look doesn’t shown anything damaged. I finish the job, start to sweep up and then realise that one, full length conservatory double-glazed panel has been completely shattered by the stone. A window man has been summoned to sort it out this afternoon.

Came across this old chap from the Scottish Highlands advertising his latest work. The thing that cheers me up is that he is younger than me.

The afternoon has turned out hot and sunny. We’ve done a walk. The window man is expected and the new kettle is being delivered. I am going in the gym to test my groin in secret! Amazing how much of one’s groin is used in sweeping!

Wednesday, 4th August, 2021

Well, yesterday turned into an absolutely delightful and warm spell in which we cut the lawns, trimmed the hedges, watered all the plants and left the area looking well cared for. We did a walk and I did my gym session without too much discomfort. I do think my body is deteriorating from the inside out. I make no attempt to understand it but push on regardless. Pauline’s next investigation is in the hospital on Thursday. This must be the lot of 70 year olds. It is a depressing and lonely affair which each one of us must face in time.

Received a text message this morning. Don’t get many of those and this was from the Surgery. It was offering me an injection against Shingles. They are offered to all 70 – 79 year olds. My brother had a painful bout of shingles on his back in his teenage years which was bad enough but two members of Pauline’s family have experienced excruciating shingles in older age and I don’t want that. If I died tomorrow, it wouldn’t worry me at all but don’t let it be painful because I am a coward.   

We have spent every August for 30 years away from the UK and on this little spit of rock in the Aegean. We know every inch of every village of the island so intimately. The photo is of the village square in Artemonas with Manganas Taverna on the left, the Fournos (Bakery) at the far end with the sun setting down over our house and Kamares Port in the distance.                                                                                                                  

In those days the Bakery was one of the most important sources of food. The one in Artemonas produced the most wonderful bread and sweets. Just looking at the picture above transports me to the sounds, smells and body-wrapping humidity of a Greek August evening. Today it is 36C/97F and, this evening, it will be still be 32C/90F in that square as Diners sit, sweating over their salads.

One of our biggest dilemmas was leaving people behind in the UK while we were so far away. Principally, my Mother-in-Law was in Oldham and, latterly, in her 80s – 90s. She was fiercely independent and pushed us to be ruthless with our lives. She made it clear she wanted us to go out and do what we wanted to but she was always in the back of our minds. I felt bad because I was the instigator of Pauline leaving her Mum. Now I have no one to worry about and that almost feels worse.  

Bought some new bathroom scales for the En Suite a few days ago. They cost £30.00 and were absolutely rubbish. I don’t weigh that much! They went back this morning and have been replaced with these techie ones. They measure Body Mass, Body Fat, Body Water, Bone Mass and it even states one’s weight. I’m sure it will give me a better answer.

Just trying to bring a bit of sunshine into life this morning. Went to the Garden Centre. Well into August, it is still packed with flowering plants that should have been sold in June. As we’re pinned in our garden so much, might as well fill it with bright colours. This morning, I chose a Coreopsis. We’ve grown a lot of them over the years but this is a particularly bright one. It should flower strongly into October. …. that’s if I’m still alive.

I’m going for my Shingles injection next Tuesday. I read this morning, rather belatedly, of the death of Bill Haire who was one of the first 20 men at my College and who was always partnered by Jimmy Shaw and Mike Ennion. He had been ill for some time and died in hospital a few months ago. Really brings one up short and immediately makes me focus on what I want to achieve before I go.

Like yesterday, the afternoon has brought really hot sunshine and blue skies. Our walk was in 24C/75F of warmth. I was almost reluctant to go inside to do my gym work afterwards. However, I’ve only missed one day in a complete 6 months now and I bitterly regret missing that one. It’s a good job we’ve got some sun. It is still not possible to fly into the US without going to an intermediate country and quarantining for 10 days which I’m not going to do. France is difficult as is Spain. Greece is showing a huge spike in infection. Might have to holiday in Newquay at this rate!

Thursday, 5th August, 2021

Lovely morning of sunshine. Pleasantly warm at 7.00 am. Taking Pauline to hospital this morning. She’ll be there for a while so I’m driving home and will try to do a couple of hours in the gym. Hopefully, this will be her last visit and there will be no intervention required. We will see.

I’m not drinking at the moment and I’m finding it particularly hard when the sun comes out as it has done very warmly in the past couple of afternoons. I don’t know if it is just my psyche or a universal tendency but I associate hot sun with relaxation, encouraging self-indulgence, wine drinking and the blurring of inhibitions. Those who have never enjoyed alcohol will find this hard to understand but they will have missed an essential experience.

I haven’t cracked but I have been tempted. Every day I go into the gym and punish my body while being taunted by racks of Bordeaux, Pinot Noir, Rioja, Malbec, Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc … Oh stop!!

The crisis of self-control is made even harder when I’m feeling down. I start to think, Oh, what’s the point? A glass/bottle of wine will numb the sadness. Of course, it never does but I am a slow learner as my readers will know.

Exactly 49 years ago today, I went with a little friend to the wedding of Christine & Kevin who were friends from college. The wedding was in Shadwell, Leeds and the weather was hot and sunny. My little friend recently sent me our copy of the Wedding Service and, for the first time in all those years, I have acknowledged it by writing to them and wishing them well. It feels nice to be doing it.

My sister, Catherine (Cathy), who lives about 5 miles away, popped out of social media yesterday. She obviously thinks she is a work of art. She is certainly looking slim and vital at the moment but then she is so much younger than me. Good to see her happy. Most members of my family seem to be enjoying their retirement. Liz hasn’t quite made it yet but is winding down.

It is 13 years since Mum died and the experience has faded in my sensibilities although there are moments that I want to phone her. Apart from last year, we always return to visit her grave. Every time I look in the mirror, I see her face in mine and increasingly in my sisters. I regularly curse her for bequeathing me her facial moles which she spent so many years trying to eradicate herself.

Fascinatingly, I was told in the past week that Mum’s will is going to be finally wrapped up this month with the sale of Barclays shares and the disbursement of small, remaining amounts to members of the family. We forget so easily. I am secretly (not) pleased that I sold my allocation of the Barclays shares for £2.80 each years ago and those family members who hung on to theirs in the hope of improvement are only achieving circa £1.78 per share. They should have trusted the judgement of their older brother. They never do!

Friday, 6th August, 2021

Woke up feeling rather sad this morning. Didn’t want to open my eyes. When I did, soft, grey rain was falling on the world outside.

Still falls the rain
Still falls the blood from the starved man’s wounded side
He bears in his heart all wounds – those of the light that died
The last faint spark

Sitwell – 1940

Yesterday, the drive to the hospital down the beach road was busy and in full holiday mode. Happy children with lilos, buckets and spades and stressed parents all over the sand. Traffic was difficult in mid-morning but we got there on time. I dropped Pauline off at the doors and drove home.  

An hour in the Gym watching this very sad, sub-titled, Spanish thriller which has taken me 8 hours to complete ended so painfully.  Never knew I had so much emotion inside me. No wonder I have spent a lifetime avoiding fiction. It’s just too painful. I have a very low pain threshold and don’t cope with sadness well at all. Pathetic!

Fortunately, I received a text to say she was ready for collection after just one hour so I was saved from any more tears washing down the Treadmill and I set off without a shower, back down the beach road and up to the hospital. The news was good. No problems that are insurmountable or serious. That’s one worry to tick off. We drove home and went out for an hour’s walk in 22C/70F of lovely sunshine. When we got back, I did a final hour in the gym before showering and a meal. I am fighting hard and closing in on a weight I haven’t been for the past 35 years. I love the new bathroom scales!

I have been worrying about resurgent inflation for some time. We have been through the most incredibly extended period of low inflation but the Bank of England’s target rate of 2% is set to be seriously breached by 4% inflation this year. For people like me holding cash reserves in low-interest savings accounts, 4% inflation can be highly destructive. For illustration: a 4% inflation over 10 years would reduce £100,000.00 to just £67,500.00 in today’s terms.

The normal bank response would be to raise interest rates which would help cash investments like mine. Unfortunately, the crashed economy and the post-pandemic recovery would be damaged by increasing costs of borrowing. We have already committed to saving a minimum of £1000.00 per month just to counteract this effect. However, I am convinced that the best way to shelter saving from this threat is to invest in property.

I’ve looked at city centre apartments in Manchester, harbourside apartments in Southampton and Pauline found new, student-let apartments in Liverpool which offer a guaranteed return of 8% per annum on an outlay of just £75,000.00. Of course, the other alternative we have been considering is holiday properties in Spain with rental potential.

Housing in UK is going wild. Older residents of our village constantly complain that there is so much new development that it is now a town. Of course, we are beneficiaries of that explosion in house building which has brought the most wonderful facilities and shopping all around. I was reading in the MEN recently of a huge, new development in Oldham near where I initially lived and where I taught. At the end of Broadbent Road, Oldham has agreed the plans for 837 new properties to be built. and another 415 at Mumps. Rochdale Council have agreed another 300 homes on an old mill site in Middleton expanding eventually to 717 new homes because Middleton has ‘excellent access to the rest of Greater Manchester particularly if the tram serves it.

The big difference between the development North-South is that the MEN says at least 30% of the housing will be ‘affordable’ and much on Brown Field sites. Here, most are on Green Field land and hardly anything is affordable by anyone.

Saturday, 7th August, 2021

This morning has opened dry and fine but soon turned wet. Actually, got up late after a bit of a fitful night. The radio goes off at 6.00 am although I fell back to sleep this morning.  Radio 4 Today programme has driven me mad. Can’t listen to any more of the sheer excitement of Tom Daley’s knitting hobby or his plucky bronze medal. That England has been brought to this!

Wanted to smash the radio but it is my best friend. I’ve had it for almost 30 years and it still remains at my side working beautifully. I don’t think it looks very dated either although my wife’s biggest concern is that it looks dusty in this photo.

The day has changed completely by 11.00 am. The sun came out and stayed out. It was hot as we went for our walk. I did another gym session and came out of the darkness, blinking in to the bright sunshine of the garden. Sea Bass and Samphire for our meal today. I’m starving!

Life is such a roller coaster. Finding it quite hard over the past couple of days. Tried to keep busy yesterday and work hard. Wasn’t completely effective but I did exhaust myself.

All yesterday morning we were zipping around shopping areas – new reading glasses (Half-Moon for the elderly.) from Rustington SpecSavers. Lots of lovely Fruit & Veg from the Greengrocers – today: Peaches, Plums, Apricots, Asparagus.

Next was a frantic search for bottled water. Almost all the local superstores are empty of bottled water. I can’t live without sparkling water. Eventually, we found one store and bought up almost the total supply.

On to the fish man for Sea Bass and a large bunch of Samphire. Finally, we returned to the Foschini Nursery for a variety of Tomatoes plus some Garlic and a bunch of Basil.

Back home for coffee and then out for a walk in 22C/70F of really warm sunshine. We have rather become tied to a set route at the moment. It is about 7 miles round trip and, when we get back, I follow that with an hour in the Gym. I finish around 2.30 pm and I’m quite tired by then. Of course, I haven’t eaten anything by that time in the day.

Pauline cooks while I shower and then we eat at about 3.30 pm. That’s the routine of the day. I think I’m trying to block the world out and be quite ruthless in addressing my fitness and weight loss at the moment. I read a lot but writing has really come to a halt at the moment. Unlike us, Muse appears to have gone on holiday.

Each month I am presented with my Google Travel record taken from my smartphone. It really is an indictment of the prison cell in which we are living. Such restricted travelling. After 26 months, our car still hasn’t reached 9,000 miles. No one could call me a nomad!

It seems that 1978 was a popular year for getting married amongst my friends. John Ridley, who always referred to me as John-1 and himself as John-2 in his typically self-effacing way, was celebrating his 43^rd wedding anniversary yesterday. It took place in the picturesque setting of Richmond, North Yorkshire.

Sunday, 25th July, 2021

Another surprisingly hot day yesterday. 27C/81F. We did a walk and then I followed that with some gardening plus gym work. No writing. My Muse has left me at the moment. I have a separateness and a sadness at the moment.

The sky has become quite dramatic over Littlehampton Marina which suggests we are in for another sticky night. We will see ….

Yesterday, the results of our anti-body tests arrived to show that we were both well covered. Also, Pauline received her 70  year old’s Driving Licence renewal request. She still has another 3 months to go but it makes me feel better.

Couldn’t sleep last night. Awake at 4.00 am and up at 6.00 am. As predicted, gentle warm rain was falling. The smells from the garden are delicious. They remind me of our Greek garden which we left for the last time 7 years ago this week. Our English figs produced lots of fruit last summer but have hardly any this year probably because of a difficult Spring. They are all leaf growth that produces the evocative scent of Greece. However, we are bang-on-trend as the jargon goes. The Sunday Observer this morning says roses are out but figs and olives are in. We have both for normal summers down here. Not sure I’d recommend them for Lancashire yet but the time will surely come.

We had received our payment for the house, put it through two separate Greek banks into a Foreign Exchange account with a third financial organisation and got it to our UK bank. Officially, it should have been thoroughly checked at the Greek end and then again for money laundering at the UK end. We manged to forestall the Greek procedures because of our small-island relationships and through the UK end because I prepared the arrival of a large amount of money from abroad by talking to our private account manager by phone in advance. Even so, we were very nervous about potential hitches in the process and incredibly relieved when it all went to plan.

There was the matter of part payment left to receive and we returned to Athens in September to withdraw that from the Greek bank and send it back to UK. Ultimately, we didn’t have to pay any tax on our sale which felt fantastic particularly as the Tax Office had spent months pursuing Pauline for little more than 5p unpaid tax on her financial settlement from ending teaching and then intimidating her with tax return forms each year for a while after as if she were a criminal.

Since October last year, we have taken 20 tests for Covid-19. Most have been Lateral Flow, Swab tests but, more recently, have included finger prick, Antigen (antibody) tests. Almost all have been as part of the Oxford University Project but we have also done a few when we have had close contact with people we don’t know. For example, 3 days after visiting the hairdresser, Pauline would do a test and 3 days after having the CCTV installer in the house, we did a test. We have passed every one which is reassuring

I have written before that Pauline & I are like Jack Spratt & his wife. She is obsessed with cleanliness and I am obsessed with tidiness. This is the scene of a test we did yesterday and is so untidy it drives me mad. At least my wife is knuckling down and getting her jobs done. She made jam yesterday and is making bread today as well as cutting my hair. As a result, the floors will have to be vacuumed and steam-cleaned to allow her to sleep tonight.

Monday, 26th July, 2021

The weather was largely wet and very warm yesterday. I did 2 hours in the gym after which I was very wet and warm. I have now done my target for 165 consecutive days which I think is testimony to my determination and consistency. I know some who will think it a sign of madness. After exercise, I had my hair cut and then tried on my suits which have been hanging in the wardrobe unworn for some time. When I appeared before my wife, she shrieked with amusement and said they all had to be thrown away because I looked like a ‘clown’ in a joke suit in each one. It’s always nice to be appreciated.

This morning is lovely and warm. I was awake at 5.00 am but managed to stay in bed, listening to the World News followed by R4 Today programme until 7.00 am. Up for breakfast with the conservatory doors open on to the garden. Who could start without freshly squeezed orange juice and a huge cup (never a mug) of Yorkshire tea? Everything until I eat my meal in the mid-afternoon is liquid which plays havoc with an old man’s bladder.

One of the things about life at the moment is that absence of doing leads to introspection. This morning, my calendar reminds me that Emma – one of our past-pupil adoptees – is 42 today. She is married with 3 children and her eldest recently graduated from university. He is also a professional rugby player and an amateur boxer. It gives me quite a warm feeling reminiscing about those times 25 years ago. Pathetic, I can hear you scoff but I don’t care.

I’ve been thinking about Sifnos because it was 7 years last week that we left and this picture of Lakis Kafezaxaroplasteio (Coffee & Sweet Things) came up this morning. When we first went there, it was 1984 and I was just 33 years old. The original old man was running the shop. As we went through the 1990s, the old man died and his son took over running the Café. Now, it is run by the next generation who have smartened the old place up. Will we see it again? We must trust in the future!

Feel genuinely happy and optimistic this morning. Absolutely no idea why. Must be all the tea for breakfast!

Talking about breakfast, I’m trying to persuade my wife that I need one of these. It would make me feel as if I was in a nice hotel every morning. She says I’m being over-ambitious. Story of my life! Instead of a juicer, she has ordered me a new lawnmower. I don’t know what she’s trying to tell me!

41 years ago last month, we had a near-death experience car accident. The MEN sent me this event from Manchester this morning. Rather reminds me:

This is Middleton Road, Blackley partially blocked northbound outside the entrance to Heaton Park. By the look of the car in the foreground, this could have been a race going on. In our case, we were in a mini and destroyed by an old, Ford Cortina.

Tuesday, 27th July, 2021

Incredibly hot and muggy evening last night and thunder, lightning and torrential rain struck at around 4.00 am. I always find it hard to get back to sleep after that with thoughts flooding across my mind for ages.

The hottest temperature I have ever experienced is 42C/108F ten years ago this week in Athens and that is exactly what is expected there again today. I certainly don’t envy them. It is actually quite frightening. Walking in that heat is rather how one might imagine dying slowly would feel.

I have to complete my exercise routine early today because I am taking Pauline to hospital later. It is an initial investigation. She seems quite unfazed by it. Girls always seem to handle these things better than I do. I am, on the other hand, always nervous but I have no understanding of bodies. They are a mystery to me.

At least we do have an excellent hospital in our area which is reassuring. I suspect that they understand bodies.

On Sunday, I featured our fig trees which now tower at around 10ft tall even after winter pruning. Yesterday, we ate our first fruit and it was absolutely delicious. I made the mistake of suggesting I wouldn’t try growing them in Lancashire yet. I meant to produce fruit. A Blog reader from the wilds of the North took umbrage and contacted me to say they had two, lovely little ones …. There are no words!

Wednesday, 28th July, 2021

This morning has started off quite warm -19C/66F at 7.00 am. Suddenly, as I drank breakfast, the heavens opened and we had 5 mins of torrential rain. Just as suddenly, blue sky appeared with strong sunshine. Looks as if that is how it will go for a day or two. I am distraught. My lovely lawn has developed brown patches and areas are dying. Having ignored it for a week, I have to rake out the dead and reseed. I’m going to do that today. I would love to grow Bougainvillea on the fences of the back garden but I don’t think it would survive anything but the warmest winter. Used to love this peach-coloured variety that we grew in Greece.

Did my full exercise routine by mid-day yesterday. It had turned out a completely different prospect from forecasts. Warm – 22C/70F, sunny and dry, the morning was wonderful. We did our walk twice and then prepared to go out for the afternoon. I drove to the hospital where I spent an hour walking round the car park. Actually, we had a huge shock as we entered the hospital car park. A young woman was on the floor in the middle of the road surrounded by policemen and police cars. She didn’t look well but it wasn’t obvious what had occurred.

Those not there for ‘official’ reasons are not allowed in. The woman parked next to me returned to her car saying she had been refused entry for being 10 minutes too early for her appointment. Anyway, ultimately, everything went well. The biggest problem was trying to park. It is a full-time job looking for a space in the mid-afternoon.

We drove home down the coast road, past the pier where full holiday mode had been reached. The fair with amusements was in full swing. Food outlets and entertainments were touting for business and traffic was heavy. By the time we ate around 6.00 pm, we were hungry and tired. It had seemed a long day already. Mind you, I had been awake since 4.00 am so 14 hrs had elapsed already.

Thursday, 29th July, 2021

Today we are driving up to Surrey to see M&K and P&C for the first time in a while. It takes about an hour to get there if the M25 is kind. We will spend a couple of hours there and then another hour driving home. I’ve got to get my exercise routine completed before we set off so an early start in the gym. No spam burgers for me! It is an absolutely beautiful, warm and sunny morning with crystal clear blue sky.

We’ve decided to consider at least a surprise visit. Pauline’s longest surviving friend is Sue who used to go to school at Hathershaw in Oldham where Pauline was Head Girl in 1970/71. They went to Newquay (Cornwall) together in their final Summer before going their own ways in 1971. Newquay would be a lovely place to live and property prices are very strong there at the moment. 

We haven’t seen Sue and her husband, Eddie, since the early 1980s. In retirement, they have sold their property in Halifax and moved to Gozo – the small island off Malta. They have bought an old, traditional house and refurbished it over the past 3 years. We are considering going to Malta towards the end of August and dropping into surprise Sue. It will be fun as part of a sun-filled experience. At the same time, I might be able to do something I’ve wanted to do for a few years now. My cleaner from school is Maltese. Cath cleaned my office and I always referred to her as The Maltese Falcon. She is/was a lovely woman who originated in Malta but had lived in Oldham since the 1970s. She had adopted Pauline’s Mum as her own Mother and went to clean for her in her final years in her Waterhead flat.

Every year, Cath would return to Malta for the summer to stay with her family. I would like to surprise her there in August this year.

I am researching Hotels we could stay in for a couple of weeks or so. I am thinking of the 5* Hyatt Regency in St. Julian’s Bay. It has a Gym, Pools inside and out and good rooms. Excellent wi-fi and satellite TV are a prerequisite and this hotel has an excellent review. The whole package for 15 nights is just under £3,000.00 plus flights which seems good value. It will be tying in appropriate flights that will be crucial. After all this time, it will feel slightly treacherous leaving the UK … but not a lot! Of course, we’ve had these flights of fancy before only to withdraw so I’m not holding my breath.

Friday, 30th July, 2021

The morning has started breezy, grey and sporadically damp. Typical English summer. We are going out shopping for fruit and to refuel the car which is quite a rare activity at the moment.

Yesterday, in contrast, was warm – 22C/70F – sunny with white clouds and comfortable. Did half my exercise routine early and then drove up to Surrey. The car was thanking us all the way for giving it an outing. Just a 50 mile drive was a joy of release. So was being with people.

We drove to M&K’s house where P&C are staying. It is so strange chatting in a social setting after so long. We just sat around a buffet and talked for a couple of hours. I have to admit to a sin here. I ate a Cheese Straw!

M&K are home from America for a couple of weeks – half of which is quarantine – and then back there.

Meanwhile, P&C are house and dog sitting. They have made friends with the swans at the bottom of the garden and C has even named them. He is visited by a female and her Cygnets. I’m not sure that they were quite as trusting of me but who could blame them?

M&K return to Florida soon and have been very generous in saying they would welcome a visit from us. They even went as far as offering us one of their cars when we are there. I said I would like to visit my childhood friend in Boston, Massachusetts at the same time and they told me it is just a simple internal flight. We are not allowed in yet but they are there until at least May so things will change. I look forward to it.

For now, back to the English weather, shopping and exercise. At least M gave me a list of Netflix offerings to watch in the gym.

Saturday, 31st July, 2021

Out early to Argos to collect some new bathroom scales and then on to a newly discovered Nursery which has opened a mile or so from our house. Foschini Nursery has been opened by Italians from Montepulciano. I’m sold on that immediately.

They say we are what we eat. Some people are pure spam. If you cut me through, I would be pure tomato. Foschini Nursery are growing and selling multiple varieties of Italian tomatoes which have been receiving rave reviews from chefs in the area.

We hope to come back on this warm day of sun & cloud to do some walking. I have been pushing myself quite hard since the beginning of April when I turned 70. I have just started to pay for it with a lump or swelling appearing in my groin – no jokes, thank you. It has persisted for a couple of weeks and, if it doesn’t disappear soon, I will have to consult a doctor. Haven’t done that for so long. Haven’t seen any doctor for anything in over two years and I am reluctant to go now but it may be more serious than I realise so may have to face it soon. My wife is pushing me to go. I think she has an eye on the Life insurance.

I did 2 hrs in the Gym yesterday and watched the whole of the modern, film edition of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. That is my sort of film and the time passed quite quickly although I was in some discomfort. The trouble is, my mindset will not allow me to dodge the routine. I just hope I am not exacerbating something. The one thing I can’t afford to do is sit still.

For anybody in the ‘know’, I was contacted out of the blue by Dave Weatherley yesterday. He was asking after my welfare which was nice. He still seems just as obsessed with 60s/70s music as when I knew him at College and is happily retired and living in Bolton if that isn’t a contradiction in terms.

My little brother, Bob, posted a photo of his wife, Jane, on their 44^th wedding anniversary yesterday. Bob has been retired for a couple of years now and seems to be very happy with his life at home in Maidenhead. There are a lot of Janes in my family.

Sunday, 18th July, 2021

Sometimes life heaps huge bowls of cherries on us and today is one of those days. The morning is beautiful again. Our little village is looking lovely although we don’t go down into it much except in the car. The old hill down is garlanded with self-seeded flowers which add to its charm.

Yesterday, we reached 27C/81F and today is forecast to be even warmer at over 30C/88F. Our walk yesterday reminded us strongly of those in our 30s when we strode mile after mile across Greek islands, me stripped to the waist in tiny, white shorts absorbing 32C+/90F+ temperatures before stopping for an ice-cold bottle of local, white Demestica wine with some savoury snacks. Those were the days almost 50 years ago!

Talking about walking miles, the weight is falling away and my shorts are in danger of doing the same. My wife is nothing if not economical and she is boil-washing shirts and shorts to shrink them rather than buy new. Can you believe a wife who would do that? Well, I suppose I have got about 20 sets in different colours so I accept my fate. I really don’t care that much.

Yesterday was quite strange in the morning. We went out to Tesco and Asda and, finally, Sainsburys looking for sparkling water, fresh Dill and one or two other things as well as a stock of Shloer. It was quite shocking how poorly the shelves were stocked. There was almost no sparkling water in any of them. No Dill anywhere and so many had shelves empty or nearly empty around 9.00 am on a Saturday morning. People have been warning of this for a while but we saw it today in reality.

We have very few children in our neighbourhood but one house across from us has two girls. Richard and Melanie are Cambridge graduates and their girls are still in Primary school. One was 10 yesterday. Like so many middle class, parents of today, they really push the boat out for their kids. Huge, bouncy castle in the back garden, signs up directing lots of visiting little girls to the ‘fun’. Richard with water-gun in hand, dousing them all on the bouncy castle to shrieks of enjoyment. What it must be to commit so much as parents.

Monday, 19th July, 2021

Pauline thought I was sad yesterday. I’m not sure why but I really felt good as the evening developed. The world is a lovely place especially while Johnson keeps making a fool of himself but there are so many lovely people around that it is important to enjoy them. You know, when we are out walking, people really do go out of there way to wait, stand in lay-bys, walk in the road, to make us feel comfortable as we pass.

The real irony of this morning is that, as the government removes all restrictions on ideological grounds and to appease swivel-eyed back-benchers, infection cases are surging exponentially and leading members of the government are self-isolating. Wales is not releasing for almost another 3 weeks by which time, we may be locking down again although you get some people from England visiting Wales so national controls must be compromised. Kevin, an old College friend who lives in Scotland, put up a poster this morning.

When we were in Greece, we built our house just above the port looking down on the harbour. Up above us was the Boulis farm which featured hundreds of kids – young goats. When we first bought the land and built there, I wondered if that would be a problem. Actually, we found that we loved goats and their bells woke us in the mornings with the sound of Switzerland. They are incredibly inquisitive, friendly and affectionate. It didn’t stop us from eating them, of course. Roast baby goat with Rosemary & Garlic is just delicious although I don’t really eat that sort of meat anymore.

I have a strange relationship with nature as an older man. Someone told me I was too nice which I consider a savage rebuke but it is true that my attitudes have changed. If we get a bee, even a wasp, trapped on the conservatory doors, I try to usher it out rather than kill it. If a beetle crosses my path, I no longer step on it. I have even stopped pulling the wings off flies! I have always felt tender towards and protective of people smaller than myself not only physically but socially, mentally, emotionally. I feel naturally protective and inclined to fight their corner. I don’t say that it has stopped me from eating small things – Quail for example or Whitebait – but I do think about it more. My environmentalist sister Jane BG would be proud of me.  

Regular readers will know that, about 5 years ago, I collected and germinated seeds of a tree quite common in the Canaries – Royal Poinciana or Flamboyant Tree. I grew it on as a couple of trees and maintained them in our conservatory windows until they grew too high. Last Winter, I decided – well, it was decided for me – that I would leave it to its fate out in the garden. We only had one, strongish frost and it killed the trees. I potted one (‘stick’) up in a cheap, plastic pot and gave it a chance. It has repaid me by growing back although our Fig Trees are putting it to shame. It will be a little while until I can call it ‘flamboyant’.

We were talking about our car which, even though we’ve had it 2 years, has only done 8,000 miles. It still feels very new to drive. I saw a video clip of someone starting their car with a ‘key’ this morning. Can you imagine that? Haven’t used a key for so many years. Don’t use a key to open up the doors – just pull. Don’t use a key to open the boot – just swipe our foot across. Don’t use a key to start the car – just push a button.

Actually, we hardly have to bother driving the car at all. We set the destination, lane control, speed limiter, speed control, road sign recognition, automatic drive/brake and distance from the car in front, automatic handbrake when stopping. It is so automatic everything and I drive it so little at the moment that, when I do, I forget what it is to be a driver. I passed my test in Failsworth on Christmas Eve, 1975. It seems so long ago. It was a bit of a shock to have to renew my licence this year. We have been through a number of different models of the same vehicle over the years. Our car used to have a spare tyre on the back; then it put a temporary, mini tyre in the boot. Finally, we have no spare tyre just a do-it-yourself, puncture-seal kit for a run-flat tyre. We also have an emergency, 3G mobile button built in to call for help.

Having driven 2000 miles to Greece and then got a bad puncture, I tried to buy a replacement in Athens. Nobody could supply one. We had to fly home to complete the sale of our house in Yorkshire so I sourced a new tyre, packed it in a massive box and sent it Parcel-Force to our home in Greece. It got there before we did. We’ve only once in our driving lives had to buy a new set of tyres for a car. Usually, we have changed the car long before the tyres are reduced.

Tuesday, 20th July, 2021

Warm yesterday and we decided to go down to the beach for an hour or so before the schools break up and children flood the area. The Funfair was still closed but looked as if they were preparing for next week’s rush. Actually, it was comparatively quiet. We walked for about an hour and a half. The only problem with this time is having to dodge all the old people. I play guess-the-age as people shuffle along in front of us. How long until someone does that to me?

The beach itself was almost empty although there were a few swimmers. Rather them than me. I like a heated pool or the Mediterranean for swimming.

Thought you might like a little video clip of what I was experiencing yesterday morning. Few people but plenty of seagulls.

Coming back, we stopped off to buy baskets of fruit – peaches and apricots mainly – and then home. I cut all the lawns including my neighbours’ and then fed and watered them as well. At the moment, they need doing every 2-3 days and the hedge is almost as bad. I finished the afternoon in the gym for an hour where it was so hot that I could hardly peel my shirt off at the end.

The CCTV cameras are being installed tomorrow morning so we’ll be tied to home. The next project has got to be air-conditioning. Every summer we say it but, this time, we’ve got to do something about it. I want the Lounge to be cooler and the bedrooms to be definitely cooler. Pauline is very opposed to ugly boxes on the wall that looked appropriate in our Greek home but not here.

My solution is more expensive but much less obtrusive – ducted, house-wide cold air distribution.

Everything happens in the spaces above and between floors with ducting leading to discreet vents in the ceiling.

My job now is to investigate suppliers/installers to do the job with the least amount of disruption. Can this be easily retro-fitted?

Wednesday, 21st July, 2021

The lovely days continue although it’s a bit annoying that the West of the country and Wales, in particular, are going to be warmer today. Anyway, they’re usually first to get rain so we’ll let that go. We’ve had a few days of walking by the beach but we’re at home having security cameras installed today. I’ll have to sweat it out in the gym this morning.

Yesterday, we walked by the sea for an hour and a half. We walked the tourist, holiday-maker route past the modernist, East Beach Café and on towards Rustington village. Later, we did another hour’s walk around our local area. We were musing on the fact that we both find it difficult to sit inactively anywhere for any length of time nowadays. Not only do our watches buzz us to ‘MOVE’ but our bodies tell us we need to be active automatically. It’s not comfortable for someone who enjoys writing.

I never give up. When I get a desire fixed in my head, I never stop until I’ve achieved it. Many would say it is obsessive and weird. I am perfectly prepared to acknowledge that and admit it. It is true and something I don’t quite understand about myself. It can be something quite small like yesterday when I had begun to obsess about fresh crab. My wife isn’t even keen on it but I love this summer delicacy. We contacted the fish suppliers. No crab. We went down to the pier for a walk – no crab. We went to the supermarkets – no crab. Tomorrow, we are expecting Billingsgate market to deliver what I want or there will be trouble.

I don’t really know where this aspect of my character derived from. I blame my Mother. I was taught: Never give in! I never give in. I might wait for 50 years but I never give in! It may be just crab tomorrow but, ultimately, ….Meanwhile, we wait and watch and expect …

My wife has an ice cream maker. She makes ice cream at home. She is brilliant at it. We haven’t had any ice cream for years – maybe 10 at least. I haven’t seen an ice cream van in our locality since childhood. Yesterday evening, I looked out of my Office window and found an ice cream van parked outside. I despatched my wife immediately for ice cream. We ate it in the Office and it was delicious. I was back in the 1950s. I would have loved to have bought you all an ice cream.

It has been hot down here but it is never hot enough for me. I have been spray, irrigating the lawns and flower beds throughout the afternoon. Our meal has been, cold, roast salmon with Greek Salad. I am in my element – brown as my skin will allow and glowing with health. I am hungry for activity and exploration. Open the gates and let me out!

One of the problems down here is that homes being built in large numbers are generally not ‘affordable’. They are in the high-end sector. They also tend to be on green belt land rather than redeveloped. I was reading the MEN last night about the redevelopment of a brownfield site – the former Rex Mill site Middleton – with 330 homes ranging from one-bed mews properties to large detached properties – built on a 30-acre piece of land. Just over a third of the homes would be ‘affordable’, with the rest split roughly equally between houses for market-rate sale and private rent.

This is the sort of thing that is needed to house those unfortunate enough to be struggling on the housing ladder! We just read last night of another 200 homes here being proposed on green belt land near us – currently a golf course – although some will be apartments as well as 4-bedroomed houses.

Thursday, 22nd July, 2021

A hot and sunny day of high humidity. The CCTV installer arrived early on the most delicious morning yesterday and worked around the outside mounting cameras and then in the loft to place the wi-fi distribution box. All of this fed down into the Gym/Garage where the recorder was sited. We have software installed on our smartphones, iPads, PCs and laptops to review, edit and save clips. Someone said I give too much of my personal information away on my Blog and invited burglars. Well, at least I will be able to picture those who are robbing me now.

In the gym, I’m still watching this Mancunian-Ibizan serial, White Lines, on Netflix. It has 10 episodes and I’m only on Episode 5. For me, it is quite a hard watch although I’ve been quite captivated by the central character, a North Manchester girl who is seeking the truth about her brother’s murder two decades earlier. The actress is Laura Haddock and she presents a convincing Mancunian girl in my experience. Actually, she is a 35 year old Londoner which is a testament to her acting.

I’ve already identified my next one which will be based on a true story in the 1940s about Florence Foster Jenkins. New York socialite, Florence Foster Jenkins dreams of becoming a great opera singer. Unfortunately, her ambition far exceeds her talent. The voice Florence hears in her head is beautiful, but to everyone else it is quite awful. This film features Meryl Streep & Hugh Grant both of whom I enjoy.

Apart from my Blog, I haven’t done any writing for a day or two. I’ve been deserted by my Muse, I think. Must get back to it urgently and renew the flow which I found recently. It was actually giving me so much pleasure. It has been a little warm in the Office to be sitting around missing the sun. I don’t remember when I was last so brown – certainly not since 6 months in Greece although we deliberately avoided the intense sunshine in those days.

I wrote recently, to some derision, about the paucity of produce on supermarket shelves. The Mail today is featuring exactly that as well as Royal Mail deliveries across the country hit by the pandemic. Brexit and the pandemic provide the perfect storm for a civilised life although not many Brexiters stoked up by the false, Tory culture war will acknowledge it.

Far be it from me to want to spend money on my wife but I’ve been trying to persuade her to have a new computer for a while. Hers is old and slow and new ones are so cheap nowadays that it would make sense. In addition, she is constantly Facetiming/Video-conferencing her friends and her sister and demanding my large screen iPad to do it.

A new computer like this would cost less than £1000.00, take up less space, run so much more quickly and have a pop-up webcam integrated for video conferencing. It’s the way forward but why can’t she see it? Some women just lack technological enthusiasm!

Last night at 9.00 pm it was hot, hot, hot – still 26C/79F – when I went out in the garden and captured the moon on my phone. Beautiful but slightly mournful, golden misshape in a hot, dark sky. I had one of those speculative moments wondering who else was looking at the moon at that self-same time. Greek friends, at their 11.00 pm would be feeling hot as they finished Dinner under this moon. Old Northern friends would be outside staring up at this lump of gold. I suspect not many of them would be dreaming this romantic (sentimental?) dream.

Friday, 23rd July, 2021

Another beautiful, sunny morning and a humid 24C/75F although this may be the last for a short while. Exactly 55 years ago this morning, ( I have to catch my breath when I say such things! 55 years ago!!) I was standing on the platform at Burton-upon-Trent railway station waiting for a train to Holyhead. I was going to take the night ferry to Dun Loghaire – the port for Dublin. I was with a group of lads and we were going to journey round Loch Derg, County Donegal in a horse-drawn (tinker’s) caravan. I arrived in the centre of Dublin after a tumultuous sea crossing of the Irish Sea just weeks after the IRA had blown up a statue of Nelson on top of a 41m-high pillar in the very centre of Dublin. Now, the Brexit Agreement is, at last, moving both sides towards a united Ireland.

Hot, hot, hot day yesterday. Loved it! Went out early to Tesco and then on to the beach. It was not quiet yesterday. Some schools had broken up and some were on last day visits to the seaside. The beach and promenade were really busy. Right from the Marina Promenade, there were lots of youngsters and parents and proud grandparents (What must it be like to be a proud Grandparent?) helping and safeguarding youngsters who were catching crabs over the side with a single line and reel.

The crabs, of course, were only inches in size and not edible but the kids were absolutely delighted with the creatures struggling to escape from the inch or so of water boiling under the sun in their buckets. On the opposite side, the Funfair was limbering up to open at the weekend.

We walked for an hour or so down the beach road and there were so many swimming in the sea, we felt like cowards in comparison. It was incredibly warm and the sea temperature had gone up 1C to 19C but it wasn’t enough to tempt us. I needed a slave to send on ahead as a tester. There must be a philistine who could do that job!

It was good, old-fashioned bucket & spade fun from the 1950s so reminiscent of the time Brexiters wanted to return to. We even had the Promenade train rides to avoid.

I told you I never give in and I got (part of) my reward yesterday morning with the most delicious crab you can imagine. We also bought half a dozen local (Portsmouth) scallops in their shells for our meal. They were gorgeous on a bed of samphire. If you’ve never tried samphire, dear reader, get some. Lightly boiled and tossed in a bit of butter, it is the food of angels. After that meal, I felt savagely energetic and up for anything.

My choice of music today is the Slave song from Giuseppe Verdi’s Nabucco. If you give it a few moments and get over the opening bars, it is sublime:

I retired 12 years ago last April and, no longer earning, one of the concerns has always been that inflation and earnings would reduce the value of our savings/investments. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Office for National Statistics has just released figures to show that teachers’ pay is still 8% below the place it was 12 years ago. Teachers have just had a pay freeze announced again this year. I certainly don’t rejoice in that and there are definitely inflationary tendencies in the current economy but, as a teacher/pensioner, the trend could not have been much more helpful.

Saturday, 24th July, 2021

It was one of those weird nights of heat and high humidity, very reminiscent of Greek summers. In just the same way, it produced a long, loud, thunderstorm with an hour of continual white flashes and bangs to shake the house. If we’d driven down to the beach, we might have seen this just as we used to watch across the bay in Sifnos.

As it was, we sat in the comfort of our Lounge drinking cups of tea and watching the sky light up.

We were out cornering the market for Shloer yesterday and again this morning. Tesco is advertising it at half price – £1.10 – although it often sells at even more than double that. Anyway, it is so disgusting that there can’t be many people in the world desperate enough to buy it. For me, it is just a way to avoid alcohol. I’ve only got about 60 bottles in my stock at the moment so this was a time to build it up. Another 40 over 2 days brings it up to a good, round number which appeals to me. Anyone out there who feels deprived is welcome to come round for a bottle. These are the sorts of daft things that 70 yr olds can and should do. Life really is for enjoyment and packing in as much of it as possible. I think I’m going to take up walking on walls again.

The Queen, famously, never carries money. Of course, I have done exactly the same since I got married. My wife was given all charge of day-to-day spending. She buys everything. She loves buying things. Boil-washing my old shorts to shrink them to fit my new size has ended. A dozen, new, appropriately-sized pairs of shorts arrived yesterday and they fit beautifully.

I deal with savings & investments. If I wanted to buy anything independently, I have an array of credit cards but I use them so rarely that I can never remember the PINs. Suddenly, along came smartphones and new, associated payment methods. Google Pay is a boon because, having set it up, one doesn’t need to remember anything. However, it used to be limited to £30.00 and then increased to £40.00 but that felt very restrictive. Yesterday, I learnt that there is no longer any upper limit. I’ll buy my next car with it! How anyone can cope without smartphones and modern payment methods is a mystery to me but then, many things are. I’m sure I will get to understand at some stage.

We managed a good walk outside in the sunshine and a sultry temperature that reached 28C/83F yesterday. I combined exercise and sunbathing as I pressure-washed the patio flags. I gave my wife three jobs – making a batch of bread, making fresh, strawberry jam and cutting my hair. She didn’t complete any of them but she did suggest I might like to look for a new or additional wife. I am actively considering it.

I’m still watching the Manchester/Ibiza serial inspired by carpets and this image came up on social media yesterday. It amused me. Maybe it will you.

Sunday, 11th July, 2021

Even though I was shattered last night and went to bed just after 11.00 pm, I was awake at 2.30 am and didn’t really get back to sleep again. It’s amazing how one’s head rules one’s body in times like this. Tired this morning when I got up at 7.00 am but a lovely, sunny morning has helped.

The quote for our CCTV installation came in yesterday and, at £780.00 for supply & installation, was below the figure we had expected. We have instructed the company to go ahead with the plan as soon as possible.

Also in the post yesterday were our official, NHS Vaccination Certificates required for European and Transatlantic travel. Very efficient system in which we applied online and received by post within 5 working days. Unfortunately, Covid cases are exploding exponentially in England just as Johnson looks to open up. Already, hospitals are becoming overwhelmed with patients who have contracted the Johnson (formerly Delta/India) Variant. England’s R number is back up to 1.2 – 1.5 again.

Covid cases are soaring in Spain and Portugal and increasing in Greece and Turkey as Johnson Variant takes hold – just as lots of Brits prepare to fly to Europe. Only fully vaccinated will be allowed out/in and, even then, will require expensive PCR tests each way. At the moment, we think the best we can do is a French drive.

Roast salmon with Pesto Crust
Samphire & Green Beans with Garlic

Not too many calories in this meal apart from in the pesto. Yesterday’s exercise in the Gym was an absolute killer but I forced myself to do it. I have completed my routine for 149 consecutive days. I am managing about 65 miles a week at the moment although my weights work has been a bit sporadic. I’m giving myself a good talking to and will renew my effort in that from the start of the new week.

TV and print media are really going over the top about football this morning. I enjoy football and watch lots of it but this is not really about sport. It is all about politics. It makes me very uncomfortable. Of course, I remember dear Harold Wilson not being shy about milking World Cup glory in 1966 so it is nothing new.

In an effort to make the ‘news’ about football, one commentator also reminded me that the No.1 single at the time in 1966 was Chris Farlowe’s Out of Time. I was embarrassed to find that I still knew all the words. Why do I remember such meaningless rubbish but forget all the important things?

Monday, 12th July, 2021

Everywhere was quiet, silent even and this on an evening of international football. There were a number of reasons. Firstly, having lived here for over 5 years, we have never had a power cut. There was one last night just an hour before the game kicked off. We were reduced to the idea of watching on smartphones or driving out and finding a hotspot to link up our iPads. Pauline’s friend was preparing to keep us up to date and her niece in America was watching live and texting her. Fortunately, Southern Electricity rode to the rescue and found there had been a number of substations that had tripped out. Just before the kick-off, a worker arrived at the perimeter of our Development to fix ours and the power came back on.

Even so, as rain fell, planned football parties in back gardens were moved inside behind closed doors. So, when England scored early on, any cheering was unheard. Finally, when Italy equalised and then won, the silent depression of England supporters was matched by the silent but respectful celebration of our Italian neighbours.

I’ve been reading an interesting article by Andrew Adonis in Prospect Magazine, Andrew remembers Johnson musing over two, particular ideas in a conversation just before he took on the Referendum campaign. Firstly, he was totally undecided which side of the Brexit vote he should come down on which tells you much about his personal ambition overriding his principles. Secondly, he said whichever side he came down on, the British people would be malleable. In Latin, he quoted the Roman poet, Virgil, “Give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt.” By playing the clown to the audience; by allying himself to English sporting achievements like the European Football Championship in which he has no interest, Johnson is harnessing the Bread & Circuses distraction.

The objective manifestation of this could be seen in Leicester Square last night as the foolish led the idiotic in Tory, nationalist England. And none of these people will have the slightest inkling that their rights of protest are currently being legislated out of UK law. The international rights of asylum claim are being severely truncated. The conditions of exercising a vote are being made less easy. This is how the Bread & Circuses trick works. Of course the pickanniny/letterbox prime minister has come out to condemn the racist abuse of his followers that he legitimised in the first place.

I used to think I was brave and something of a risk taker. Now, I’ve realised how weak and pathetic I’ve become. Why? Well, in the past, I would happily invest comparatively large amounts of money in investment vehicles. We didn’t really have one significant failure in that policy. In the past few days, I’ve merely wanted to move largish sums of money from one account to another online instead of asking the bank to do it and found myself really scared in pressing the final, ‘SEND’ key. Is this a sign of age? I WILL do it … soon.

Chicken in White Wine, French Mustard & Tarragon Sauce
Broad Beans
Cauliflower & Broccoli Salad

You might spot the weakness in the latest meal-pic. Yes, I gave in and drank red wine. Well, everyone else with some notable exceptions, seemed to be drinking yesterday.

Just 4 years ago today, we were in the hot and sweaty but beautiful Florence railway station having travelled from our base in Lucca. I bet it will have been a lot noisier last night.

Tuesday, 13th July, 2021

Halfway through July already! The end of the school year this week. I know it’s stupid but these things suddenly jump up and bite me – the passage of time, the speed of it. Been out early to Rustington to buy fruit – peaches from Spain and Apricots from Portugal. Nice, warm morning with sun breaking through. Got the Covid-Testing Lady from Oxford University arriving at 10.00 am for a Lateral Flow test followed by another pint of blood. No wonder I’m losing weight.

A lovely morning of warm sunshine yesterday which made our walk down to the village delightful. I came back and did some writing. Getting beyond the planning stage has been really hurting me. Suddenly, this morning it flowed quite naturally from a simple idea, a memory, a picture. I had a feeling it might happen in this way but was beginning to get a bit despondent. When it started, the flow was so enjoyable, I couldn’t stop. Like the sudden sharp hot stink of fox … It enters the dark hole of the head. … The page is printed. Not getting ahead of myself but hope my muse visits again today!

Talking about flowing, central London streets were awash yesteday afternoon after a cloud burst. Our neighbour, Dorset suffered similarly. We had thunder but without the water.

Pan-fried Cod Loin
Artichoke Hearts & Peas

I read the Manchester Evening News, Oldham Chronicle and Huddersfield Examiner most evenings and have really been struck by the level of violent crime featured in them. I may be wrong but it doesn’t feel as bad in my local papers. Last night, the MEN reported two men with serious stab wounds being dumped at the doors of the Oldham Royal Hospital. They had been attacked at Middleton Junction. At the same, the Oldham Chronicle was reporting a murder by shooting in streets of terraced houses. How much anger and violence there is in our society, however impoverished, astonishes and saddens me.

Watched another episode of Long Lost Family last night and, although it seems obvious, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the constant searching, the constant looking, the constant enquiring for the missing person that was so soul-destroying. So often that searching needn’t have been so prolonged. Often, when the reconnection takes place, the separated have been living within miles of each other most of their lives. There is a compounding of the tragedy that destroys their lives. The thread with one fixed in time and the other loose and flailing is the image on which to pin my writing.

Wednesday, 14th July, 2021

This morning has opened with lovely weather, remaining 17C/63F overnight and we are forecast to get better as the week advances. We have a fresh fish delivery of Cod, Swordfish, Tuna, Calamari and Dressed Crabs – enough for the rest of the month.

Yesterday we did the next installment of the Lateral Flow and Blood Antibody tests for the Oxford University Covid Project. An interesting lady from the Gatwick area sat in the sunshine of our back garden to carry out the Tests & Questionnaire. She used to be a Monarch Airways hostess and, later, a British Airways hostess but had been forced into this project by the cut in travel. The sun was hot and the temperature reached a quite sultry 25C/77F. It was almost too bright for her to use her iPad.

Pan-fried Fillet of Sea Bass with King Prawns,
Asparagus, Roasted Cherry Tomatoes with Oregano & Basil and Samphire

Having now completed the 7 days Food Record, readers will see that it is dominated by fish and vegetables. This week, it has included 2 meat days but that is one more than normal. It represents a massive shift from our working life when I would eat a huge bowl of cereal for Breakfast, a spam burger from the school Canteen at Break. I would have a school Lunch which would invariably include chips and then a Pasta dish in the evening at home with at least one bottle of red wine. All this stress-eating! How I coped with all that carbohydrate, I have no idea.

You know, I’ve thought about writing a book, a fiction, a story for so many years. I had told myself that my time had passed. I was kidding myself. I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I couldn’t be bothered. Suddenly, something happened and, at the age of 70, I began to think again. I don’t know what sparked it but it has been churning round in my head for the past few months without really taking off. Suddenly, it has spurted into my mind.

Call it what you will but I’ll fall back on that old cliché, my Muse has appeared. Years late – nothing changes. Old, wrinkly but not dry, the creative juices have started flowing. Will it last? Who knows. I have a feeling it will. Today, I’ve found an interesting book to help me. I know people who publish their books purely to Kindle format and avoid all publishing costs but this, Manchester man, has done it the hard way and may well have some useful lessons to teach me.

I could buy it from https://www.abebooks.co.uk/ for £12.78 or download it to my Kindle Reader app for ‘free’. Guess? Who are these people who haven’t arrived at e-books yet? Must be very wealthy! Thank goodness I found this book. Let’s hope my wrinkly old Muse doesn’t see it as cheating and dry up!

Wonderful story reported by the BBC last night. A Chinese man, Guo Gangtang’s son had been snatched aged two by human traffickers in front of their home in the province of Shandong. His son’s disappearance actually inspired a movie in 2015. After his son was abducted in 1997, Mr. Guo reportedly travelled to more than 20 provinces around the country on the back of a motorbike chasing tip-offs.

In the process, he broke bones in traffic accidents and even encountered highway robbers. Ten motorbikes were also damaged. Carrying around banners with his son’s picture on them, he is said to have spent his life savings on his mission, sleeping under bridges and begging for money when he ran out of cash. However, Guo was rewarded for such tenacious and dedicated effort and he has been reunited with his son after a 24-year search that saw him travel over 500,000km on a motorbike across the country.

Do I have that staying power? I’d like to think I do but would rather not be put to the test!

Just an interesting coda: The police are reporting 2,300 incidents of attacks on Italians across the country following the football final. That is the sort of country the Tories’ populist nationalism with all its flag-waving has created.

To encourage them, I feature the most appropriate music for a day like today: Beethoven’s 6th Symphony – Pastoral. Forget the flags and move to the country!

Thursday, 15th July, 2021

Yesterday was warm and sultry. We reached 26C/79F in the afternoon. I was busy all through the day cutting lawns including my neighbours, doing my exercise routine for the 153rd consecutive day including a very warm walk outside.

Up at 6.30 am this morning with a gorgeous prospect for today. Blue sky, strong sun, green lawns, bright flowers – 18C/65F at this time. We have a Sainsbury’s delivery at 7.30 am. Although we have a lovely day in prospect, I still feel trapped by my circumstances.

Three years ago we were spending a month in the Dordogne and called in to visit one of my cousins who has properties there.

Four years ago we were spending a month driving round Tuscany and were enjoying the wonderful town of Bologna in incredible heat.

Ten years ago, we were halfway through our 6 months stay on Sifnos and eating out in the quiet, fishing village of Vathy eating in one of our favourite restaurants.

These are the sorts of things we are absolutely desperate to continue even though it feels like running away from reality. Living in a ‘nice’ place pales into insignificance when it begins to feel like a prison.

Pauline has text or phone communication with her old, College friend from 1973 almost every day which is lovely for her. She is really enjoying it. They will meet up again soon. This time, I may drive her to Milton Keynes and meet Chris myself. Having heard her on the phone, she sounds delightful and I’m looking forward to meeting her. Her husband died 2 – 3 years ago of cancer. The other two girls of the quartet we have not met yet. One is on her 2^nd marriage and the other is on her 3rd husband and has just heard that he has terminal cancer. How stark lives can be! I find these hard messages unbearably difficult to cope with. I was told this yesterday and carried it round in my head as I worked and walked. I know I am over-sensitive, weak and pathetic but that’s how it is.

Few of us are untouched by cancer at one remove at least. My mother had bowel cancer and surgery resulted in a colostomy bag which I know she found very uncomfortable and limiting. Our lovely neighbour, Pat, is suffering from stage 4 cancer which has moved into his lymph glands making it inoperable. How do you cope with that news?  It panics me and urges on my project. I have so many goals to achieve before I go.

Just been listening to the former Children’s Commissioner talking about child poverty and citing the case of a boy sleeping on a Palet with only a blanket to cover him and of a family sleeping on a bus overnight to keep warm. In the UK!! I cannot bear the thought of it and weep as I think about it. How can people be put in that situation? Maybe it is because we don’t have the distraction of travel or just that I am getting older but I’m finding it hard shutting these things out.

Friday, 16th July, 2021

Wonderful, wonderful morning. Hot, sunny, welcoming, embracing. Going down to the beach this morning to enjoy the weather and the smell of the sea. Before that, a quick trip to the Garden Centre for supplies for the lawns.

Up early yesterday and out for a walk in the strong sunshine by 9.30 am. The temperature was already 23C/74F and we felt its power as we walked in our local area. It is the first time for a couple of weeks that we have done this route and it’s amazing how far the countryside has advanced towards the end of Summer.

The fields of barley are turning rapidly golden and ready for the harvester. The field edges are really the most beautiful areas with their diversity of plants. These thistles (Echinops) are almost over but are all the more dynamic for their seed heads. Yesterday, from the fields’ margins, we picked and ate handfuls of wild raspberries with the most wonderful flavour.

You’ll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold …..

I hate, resent the way that music draws out of me emotions I desperately want to repress. Even so, I have to recognise their existence. Nigel, Julie and John-2 have acknowledged my photos of the fields of barley which I’ve posted on social media. That is nice and gives me a sense of reconnection.

Lovely photo taken from a drone camera yesterday of the River Arun running into the sea at Littlehampton Marina where we walk so often. The picture is so sharp that you can see the wind farm out at sea. We will be down there today.

Saturday, 17th July, 2021

Up at 4.00 am. Couldn’t sleep. My head is full of thoughts. Sometimes I think I’m losing the plot. On others, I think I never had it in the first place. Out walking by 5.00 am. The sky is like a backlit stage as the sun begins to rise. The birds and rabbits have the world to themselves until I arrive. Actually, a lady is watering her front garden and I meet a couple of girls out walking as well. Pauline woke to find me gone and phoned when I was at my furthest point from the house. I was back by 6.30 am and we were soon out to Tesco and then Asda to re-corner the market in Shloer because my stocks are running down and they are on half-price offers.

The lovely days continue and this one is going to be even better. It’s just as well because all ideas of a French trip seem to be on hold as the government has moved France on to the ‘red’ list with quarantine required even for the fully vaccinated. Looks like Yorkshire/Lancashire will be the extent of our travels this year. Still, there are lots of lovely people and places to revisit there.

Yesterday, we went down to the beach. Because schools are still in session, it was very quiet and peaceful at 10.00 in the morning.

A few old men sat around Oyster Pond sailing their model boats but the cries of children were obviously missing.

As we walked along the beach path, a crocodile of children in high-viz vests wound down the beach and set up with their teachers for their Sports Day which I thought was a nice idea.

As we walked by the beach yesterday morning, two, grey haired ladies walked by talking. I love to overhear this sort of conversation. It’s the sort of thing writers feed off. One was saying, Well, we all went to the reunion and then, you know, two months later she was dead. Can you believe that? I really never want to have that conversation myself. Pauline has an emergency investigation at the hospital next week which is worrying us but we are both working hard to keep fit and stay healthy. We are determined to never give in to ageism! It is important to do everything to keep at bay the decline of the intellect.

One of the clear signs of aging is accepting. It is fatal. Never give up trying new things. Never say you are too old to try that. Never think it is just for younger people. Never give up!

It hurts me when I hear people say they are too old. We are only too old when we are dead! It is a mindset that can be cultivated. It separates two types of human beings. Reader, you really must fall on the right side of this divide. New things; new inventions; new routines; new relationships are what keep us young and alive. The challenge is all!

Recent research has found that those who continue to pursue intellectual activities – reading, writing, etc., are the most likely to delay the onset of aging, of Dementia/Alzheimer’s by at least 5 years which, at our age, could be significant. Embracing new technology, learning new languages, travelling, learning new skills are all ways of staving off the closing down of the brain. Rage, Rage against the dying of the light!

Really struggling to find new things to watch in the gym at the moment. My latest, Netflix distraction is called White Lines and is set in 1990s Manchester and 2020s Ibiza.

It is like the old BBC ‘Eldorado’ from the 90’s and ‘Hollyoaks’ rolled into one in Ibiza. Sex scenes and nudity mostly for no reason at all, but a nice back drop and distraction from sometimes misplaced humour.

Film Critic

The former centres around the 1990s, Manchester music scene which, of course, I am not an expert in. I’m told it features Stone Roses, The Happy Mondays, the Inspiral Carpets. Can you imagine being inspired by carpets? The latter largely centres around the drugs scene which I’m also not expert in hence the white lines. It’s all a bit daft but it is 10 episodes and I’m reluctant to stop halfway through. I’m reluctant to give up on anything worth having.

Sunday, 4th July, 2021

Warm but heavy rain over night. Nice of the philistines to send it down South. Up at 6.30 am and it is soon dry again. Everywhere looks lovely and luscious just like me. My new trousers arrived yesterday and fitted me perfectly. The waistband has returned me to 1985. I’ve got 3 more pairs arriving over the next few days even though my fitness programme will continue. Good job we’ve got lots of ‘overspill’ wardrobes. Success will be relegating these new trousers to there.

Our next door neighbours bought us some lovely roses as a thank you for a small favour we had done for them. They were bought in Waitrose and have been scenting the kitchen for almost 2 full weeks. Absolutely lovely to have cut flowers in the room and to last so long.

How do people survive without modern technology? I know of those who don’t use a computer, don’t use email, don’t even have a smartphone. I only ask because I have realised as I have gone back into the shopping world that I couldn’t manage without any of these things. My smartphone pays for almost everything that is contactless. My watch tells me that emails and text messages are coming in as long as my smartphone is close. If I’m out of the house, I get notices of breaking news, I can check the weather and I can be warned that something is being delivered and when. All banking is done on line. Haven’t had money or been to a bank for years.

I usually found that those who didn’t embrace technology were basically rather frightened of it, frightened of ‘breaking’ it or embarrassed that they would be found wanting. It has been my mission in life to convert them to the modern world. Ever the teacher, all it takes is compassion and reassurance. Anyone who intends to live for another 20 years will find themselves completely left behind by the fast pace of the technological society.

I love writing. I write something every day. I am forcing myself currently to map out a potential book based on life events. It is amazing how difficult it is to visualise the central theme. It needs to be a weave of the emotional and the intellectual but it needs to be gripping. It occupies my thoughts whatever I am doing during the day. At 5.30 am, I was listening to a BBC Radio 4 programme about the nature of inspiration which provoked this thought today but I have always liked Ted Hughes description of the creative process as a sensual, sexual one which he describes in his poem, The Thought Fox.

Hughes compares his mind sniffing out the ideas for his poem like a fox sniffing out its mate in the forest. It is slow, silent, gentle at first but

A fox’s nose touches twig, leaf;
Two eyes serve a movement, that now
And again now, and now, and now ….

…Coming about its own business

Till, with a sudden sharp hot stink of fox
It enters the dark hole of the head.
The window is starless still; the clock ticks,
The page is printed.

Ejaculation and fertilisation is the inspiration of the imagination. Writer’s block is erectile dysfunction. And in the same vein (if you will pardon the allusion), my most recent gym film was a bonkers one called Sirens with Hugh Grant and Tara Fitzgerald. It has an 18 certification and is not right for a 70 yr old on a treadmill. Unfortunately, I have to finish when I’ve started.

I don’t advertise its address but I have bought separate, WordPress space to do an entire backup and replication of my Blog in case anything happens to it. I really couldn’t stand the idea of losing so many years of my life. There are so few people left alive who could help in recalling it for me. Every Sunday evening, I back up the previous week’s Blog in its entirety for posterity.

Monday, 5th July, 2021

Lovely, sunny and warm morning – quite the opposite of what was forecast. My jobs are pressure washing the patio and cleaning the car. Can’t wait!

On this day in 1948, just 3 years before I was born, the Labour Government’s Health Minister, Aneurin Bevan, launched the new, National Health Service which would be free at the point of delivery. It transformed the lives of the English population and gave me a great start in life. I had so many serious Rugby injuries that I made full use of it in my youth. From cradle to grave it was intended to support us against the exigencies of life. Now we await the Tory’s Care Plan which they said was already ready but seems to have got lost in translation. I wonder if it will arrive before I need it.

I have driven around Lake Maggiore in Northern Italy at least 30 times in my life en route to/from Ancona via Milano. I must admit that it never looked like this beautiful painting from more than 100 years before when I was there. Even so, I am painfully, heart-rendingly conscious of the fact that I have been on the same patch of earth that some random, American artist occupied however fleetingly as well.

I am constantly taunted by this concept as I review my life. The patch of earth where I spent my childhood in a Midlands village and all the human connections and experiences that came with it. The patch of earth in North Yorkshire and all the pleasure and torment that I associate with that time. The patch of earth I briefly inhabited in Lancashire and the events interwoven in my consciousness followed by those patches of earth I lived on for 30 years in Yorkshire. There is the tiny chunk of rock in the middle of the Aegean Sea where I spent so much of my adult life and the patches of earth in Surrey and Sussex where I’ve passed the time in retirement.

All of these patches of earth have been imbued with my life’s blood, with my tears of sadness and of joy, where I have celebrated congregation and mourned separation. Yet I have an overwhelming desire to cling on, to revisit, to not let go. Letting go would represent relinquishing life itself.

I have just done an idle search on YouTube and watched footage of each of these places. I know them so well, I can feel, hear, taste and smell each of them in my memories. They move me to tears in the sense of lost time. And yet I hear that song which so struck me so forcibly alone in my bedroom back in 1964 – The Moody Blues, Go Now. Then, I was desperate to get away. Now, it must be aging and the need to cling on that has changed my perception of these experiences.

Tuesday, 6th July, 2021

Warm, wet and windy this morning. I will spend it in the gym and the office. Yesterday really did turn out much better than expected with lovely, warm sunshine as we walked. I also did a really hard gym workout to help the cause.

It is nice to get fun and cheeky texts and my little sister, Liz, thought it would be amusing to emphasise the aging process by sending me an article illustrating two parents and their child who were photographed on the same day each year over a period of about 30 years.

Last week my dentist took one look at my notes and said, You don’t look 70! I thought you were about my age – 56. On Friday, our new neighbours exclaimed, You certainly don’t look anything like 70. You have to be a bit sceptical about these protestations but maybe being denied children has kept us younger. Who knows? I certainly know a few 70 year olds who are distinctly more wrinkly – not that I would ever point it out …. unless I had the chance! Pauline thinks I am so fat I just fill and stretch my skin better but she’s just jealous of my innate beauty.

This week 7 years ago, we had agreed a price for the sale of our Greek house and were preparing to sign the sale documents after quite a tortuous process. It marked a sad but profitable end to our time there and we were just looking forward to the long drive home. I suppose all lives have these landmarks in them. They make us who we are. The differences between the two photographs above will have been fashioned by events like these although we will never know their personal circumstances.

I stare at these people and try to imagine what has happened to them, their loves and fears, arguments and celebrations. We all have disasters and successes, losses and gains. It may be my imagination but there seems to be a small element of reticence, resignation and defeat in the couple as they’ve aged. I stare and want to shout to them,

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas – 1952

Whatever little Liz thought she might achieve; I intend to grab victory from the jaws of defeat. There are lots more things to explore and enjoy. Hopefully, lots of this will include travel, interesting places and lovely people.

Four years ago this week, we were driving through France to Italy and staying in Reims, Dijon, Lyon, Turin, Genoa, Lucca, Florence, Pizza, Bologna, Parma, etc. An epic month away. This year a week in Yorkshire feels quite a bonus. Perhaps there will be more than that. Keeping optimistic and working on material for the book.

I don’t know why I do it because it always gets to me but I watched the first of a new series of Long Lost Family last night. The format was the same as always. Two people had started searching for people from their past, from almost 50 years ago. They have often held back for years for fear of rejection.

Initial search and contact is made by the professionals and then one writes a letter for the other and supplies a photograph. The photograph is so important. Almost always, there has been an empty divide, a longing for reunion, an emotional completion on both sides although each is uncertain of the other. They are concerned how others in their lives will react.

When contact is finally made, there is an overwhelming release of the pent up emotion which has been held at bay over years. Sometimes, it is too much for those involved and the relationship doesn’t develop. More often and certainly last night, the participants find reunion extends and completes their lives. Even for the viewer, this is an emotional and enriching experience. I sob quietly into my coffee.

Wednesday, 7th July, 2021

Yesterday turned out very warm and sunny and we managed a good hour’s walk. The birds were out in force and singing very loudly. Whole schools of young starlings were being given flying lessons on the fence. To be honest, they seem naturals.

Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

I’ve always found this anthem strangely contradictory. Britons seem to believe they will never be slaves (unless as a lifestyle choice) but just let us live under an unelected monarchy and a ruling aristocracy who have inherited power and influence with an unelected House of Lords and a House of Commons dominated by the privileged of public school education.  

Bryan Ferry,extreme Brexit supporter with his sons at Public School, widely criticised as a Nazi apologist, sang Slave to Love. He was certainly a slave to the concept of authoritarian politics:

I am a lifelong republican although, in America, I would be a Democrat. I reject any form of rule that cannot be removed by democratic, peaceful means if we are not satisfied with it. I reject populism, jingoism and all those other isms of flag-waving nationalism because they embody the demand for authoritarian government. Populism and authoritarianism thrive on flag-waving which it encourages by demonising outsiders. It is classic Orwell and Animal Farm.

For this reason, I have a problem wholeheartedly embracing the national euphoria around the England football team and shudder to watch politicians who have little knowledge or love of the game trying to expropriate the national team’s success. I enjoy watching football, rugby and cricket. Only football is dominated by flag-waving. It almost signals a lack of self-confidence in the country’s desperate assertion of collectivity.

My online calendar reminds me that it is 7 years (7 years!) tonight – a very sweaty 34/93F – in Greece that we signed over our island home and started to work out how to repatriate all that cash without paying tax on it.

These two photos illustrate the ‘supermarkets’ which were really no more than corner shops in UK terms where all our groceries were sourced for so many Summers.

It is unbelievable to think, in one week’s time, it will have been a whole 7 years since we left for the last time. What will we achieve in the next 7 years? Maybe you know!

This morning we have been out to real supermarkets and have rushed home because DPD have pinged my app to tell me they are making a delivery. Pauline needed a more powerful hob for outdoor cooking.

It is being delivered by Shaun who is married with 2 kids and has worked for DPD for 2 years and made 40K+ deliveries. Shaun used to play rugby but now only watches. This potted biography is helpfully supplied by DPD on my app.

Thursday, 8th July, 2021

Another dull, overcast morning although it had been warm – 16C/61F  – all night. Up early for a Sainsbury‘s delivery at 7.00 am. Got a CCTV installer arriving at 10.00 am and then we can get on with the day. 

Everybody seemed to want to give me money back yesterday. I haven’t denied them. Our Sky monthly bill went up to £121.00. I’d had no warning so I looked it up on the website. There, having logged into my account, I was told that my contract was up for renewal and that, if I agreed to a 18 month renewal, they would reduce it to £99.00 per month. Eventually, a phone call allowed me to negotiate another reduction to £81.00 per month which was a considerable reduction on our current contract. I’ve no idea what was going on other than a crude incentive to renew my contract. I had no intention of leaving Sky anyway.

Well, it looks like we won’t be getting to Athens in the next few weeks. Easyjet have so altered our flights as to make the trip almost pointless. We would lose the best part of 2 days out of a 5-day trip and pay for an expensive test to get on the flight and again to return.

Fortunately, Easyjet have refunded our total outlay for the Return flights – £702.98. Our hotel will also refund our total outlay of £1140.00 for the 4 nights. We know that Greece is struggling with a new wave of virus and we think we must wait until the position is clearer before we re-book.

I know this isn’t really the done thing but I am trying hard to eat a healthy and controlled diet. For a week, I am going to include a record of the one meal a day I eat accompanied by a photo. I must stress that I don’t eat everything in the photos but it is available for the meal. I eat after exercise each afternoon around 4.00 pm and I am not drinking alcohol so usually accompany it with sparkling water and Shloer.

Smoked Mackerel / Prawns
Asparagus / Cucumber Salad
Tomato Salad with Blue Cheese/Mozarella and Balsamic Dressing.

To end the meal, I have a measured amount of Greek Yoghurt followed by coffee. I will not have eaten during the day at all although I will have the juice of 2 freshly-squeezed oranges for breakfast. During the evening, I might have fruit – banana, peach or apricot – plus coffee and tea. I work out that my daily intake is around 1500 calories. My output is around 3500 calories. A lot of my exercise routine is spent walking. Yes, I’m walking my way back. I am averaging just over 9 miles per day over the past 3 months. If I can get it up to 10 miles per day, it will help but we’ll see.

Friday, 9th July, 2021

Beautiful, warm, sunny morning. You really ought to be here. The lawns are looking luscious; the flowers are bright and thrusting; the birds are singing. What more could one want? Well, I can think of a few things but it’s a good start.

We met the CCTV installer yesterday morning. He is the brother of one of our neighbours across the road. He drove from the Gatwick region where he lives and says it was torrential rain there. Arriving in Angmering, it felt like a different country with its beautiful, sunny weather. Of course, for a nomad like me, that is not unusual.

We are going to have 3, small, white cameras networked to a box in the Gym/Garage. They will cover the entire perimeter of our property and will have High Definition, colour video capture which will be relayed directly to our smartphones and iPads and to my Office computer. I can see a new, morning routine of fast forward play checking recording from the night before. I may have to employ a little philistine to check it for me after initial novelty wears off.

Griddled Fillet Steak with red wine reduction jus
Field mushrooms stuffed with onion and blue cheese
Green beans with garlic

I cut all the lawns yesterday including my new, Italian neighbours’ lawn across the road. It’s the generous sort of community thing we socialists do. Anyway, I’m hoping for an invite to their family home in Italy next year.

This little chap popped up on my screen this morning. I haven’t seen John (Tash) Coates since he attended my wedding in 1978. He bought us an egg coddler as a present. He seems to be very happy in his retirement.

Saturday, 10th July, 2021

Wet but warm and that’s just the day at the moment. Looks like I’m going to be working out solely in the gym this morning. We spent the entire day outside yesterday and I was exhausted after it but I didn’t sleep well for some reason.

Writing a daily Blog like mine is exposing. It exposes one to ridicule, anger, sadness and irritation. Occasionally, readers contact me to express their views. More often than not, it is sympathetic or advisory. Sometimes readers correct a factual point I’ve got wrong. Occasionally, it is highly critical. I received one of the latter from a reader who had been trawling my back catalogue which at least shows genuine inquisitiveness. They wrote to me suggesting, at the end, I had been counting the days to retirement and looking for a big pay-out. I found that quite hurtful.

I was still doing my utmost to dig our school out of Special Measures before it became an Academy. I saw absolutely no reason why we shouldn’t maximise our pay-out in retirement. After all, I would use it far better than Oldham Education Authority and I have. I am always open to fair criticism but I fight my corner when it isn’t.

Because I had been denied a child of my own, I used to ‘adopt’ kids who needed some support or just seemed a bit different. I still communicate with most of them. I was reminded of this as Pauline got a text from Derby yesterday afternoon not far from my family home from a girl who was in just that category. She is in her 40s with a family of her own now but occasionally checks that we older ones are alright. It is a lovely thing for her to do.

I taught these two girls above and we chat occasionally. The one on the right, Marie, is in her late 50s now with a grownup son of her own but still insists on calling me Sir.

The young lady (left) – Emma and now in her mid 40s with 3 graduate kids and one living in Italy – was one of my adoptees for a few years. I played matchmaker for her (just one of my great skills) and she and her boyfriend would come over to our house. We took them out to the seaside and out for meals. I think I was playing at being a Dad – always looking for Rebecca-Jane.

Emma sent me the most moving card for my 70^th birthday. I was really touched by it. She was and is a lovely girl. By contrast, Terri Lee (Below) was an absolute hooligan who drove me mad. She was always truanting and very aggressive when she was in school. She was very skinny and always looked as if she needed a good meal.

She was intelligent but her life didn’t allow her to use it. We became friends before she left and have remained in regular contact ever since. She is 30 this year and has 3 kids. She is clearly a good Mum and does so much for her family.

Women’s Final at Wimbledon this afternoon. The morning news shocked me with the reminder that it is exactly 50 years since a 19yr old Yvonne Goolagong won the title. She was never quite the same for me when she became Cawley. Tomorrow, our neighbours across the road will be supporting Italy. They told us yesterday that they were a little nervous about reaction around the area. I told them that, if fighting broke out, I would be on their side. Might get an invite to Parma yet!

Griddled Tuna Steaks
Greek Salad and Asparagus

Along with the reminder of Goolagong/Cawley, this morning I also learnt of the death of Paul Mariner, former Ipswich and England centre forward. He was 68 – just 68! He died of brain cancer. It really underlines how precious life is and how we must make the most of it.

Sunday, 27th June, 2021

Lovely, warm and sunny morning. Lots of nice things to start the day. Freshly squeezed orange juice with the conservatory doors flung wide open. The lawn is looking so beautiful and inviting.

It is jab-a-youngster weekend around here and they are desperate for it. This was the scene yesterday as we walked past our Community Centre where Vaccinations are being conducted:

The travel industry is really being forced into unpalatable conditions by the pandemic. Our Easyjet flights in August which were rolled over from last year can be changed without charge at any time up until the day we should fly. Our Athens hotel which we have also rolled over will provide a full refund if we don’t take it up. The IHG booking I’ve made in the philistine territory of the North of England is cancellable up to 3 days before the date. Mind you, it would need a lot to stop us from taking that up.

Overall, I am feeling very optimistic this morning, I’m sure you will be pleased to know. Things will only get better. Probably be living in a tent tomorrow!

On this day 3 years ago, we were wandering through the city of Bergerac on the banks of the Dordogne. Ironically, this evening in 2018, Germany got thrashed by South Korea which bodes well for next Tuesday evening.

The day is ending steamy and humid down here on the South Coast. It’s been enjoyable and I’ve completed my gym session without keeling over.

Monday, 28th June, 2021

Hot and humid start to the morning but dark and gloomy. We have the lights on for breakfast. Sometimes life kisses us and lifts our spirits. I felt like that all day yesterday. Everything felt as if it was lifted on a wave of warm air. The day had started with warm sunshine and 22C/70F and ended in hot and humid conditions. It is my sort of weather. The hotter the better.

Seven years ago, we were close to sealing the deal to sell our Greek property. It had been an intense few months and, to take the pressure off, we took a ferry to Athens for a few days break from the process. Pauline booked an appointment at the hairdressers across the road from our favourite hotel.

The top stylist only cost about €35.00 and she was thrilled with the result. This week she is going for her 3^rd haircut in less than two months. If that doesn’t satisfy, we will be off to Covent Garden Sassoon’s.

When we got back from our 4 day break, the feral cat who had adopted us a couple of year’s earlier was sitting very grumpily staring us out from the patio wall and demanding attention and food. It is one of the things which has tormented us since leaving that we deserted this animal and her family. The people who bought our property didn’t want feral cats as they were expecting a baby imminently.

The poor, old cat would have to pack her bags and make the arduous journey to find new benefactors. She had groomed us very successfully for three years and now would either start all over again or starve. I didn’t want that on my conscience. Everybody deserves a good Breakfast.

I am at the planning stage of my book. Immediately, it throws up problems, demands resources that I struggle with. Writing forces us to expose ourselves to scrutiny. It is painful and embarrassing. You could say I’ve had plenty of practice in my Blog but, make no mistake, this writing holds so much back that a book will expose. Raw, sore, painful honesty will be required. Difficult admissions even to myself and I’m only at the Planning stage. Memories of things I’ve blotted out subconsciously will need to be resurrected. I do ask myself if it is worth it but, if I don’t do it now, I never will.

The day here has turned out really hot and sunny. Our walk was quite sweaty. I found that, all the time I was walking, I was constantly preoccupied by my writing. I’ve got 3 or 4 working titles which I’ll be canvassing to gauge opinion.

Tuesday, 29th June, 2021

Yesterday was lovely, sunny and hot. Last night, we had a cloud burst at around three in the morning. Now, everywhere is fresh and clean. It looks like the next couple of days will be largely overcast. Keep seeing people going away. It’s making me increasingly itchy to travel. Spent an hour or two checking availability and prices in French hotels so I’m ready to go as soon as it’s possible. Our Greek arrangements can be triggered very quickly when we are able to. Our Yorkshire trip is booked. I am not going to be left behind!

About 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes and high blood pressure. I was prescribed drugs to control them both but, eventually, decided that I had to take my own control. Through diet and weight loss, I managed to completely eradicate my Diabetes and massively reduce my blood pressure drugs. Part of this involved cutting out salt. We replaced it with herbs and it was transforming.

The main herbs our diet features are Oregano, Tarragon, Sage, Thyme, Rosemary, Mint, Chervil, Chives and Basil. We grow them rather than buy them in packets or dried. When they are abundant, like now, Pauline harvests, prepares and freezes to get us through the year. That is what was happening yesterday.

One of the things that contributed to my health getting out of control was Ofsted. Our inner-city, impoverished-catchment school was constantly dipping in and out of Special Measures in the last decade of our careers. It was hugely stressful. My response was to work hard but compensate by eating and drinking too much as well. My image bank for this day 16 years ago reminded me of the specific concern I was focussing on at the time – School Attendance rates. Strategy papers, management meetings, staff training sessions, digital registering, pupil incentives all were tried but we moved the dial by mere single-digit percentage points. At this distance in time, at least I can say, Who cares?

Now, I am working hard to improve my health through daily exercise. They say, No gain without pain. I am finding that is true for me at the moment. To add to my stamina work, I have moved on to weights and my stomach muscles are agony this morning. Even so, I am going to push myself through the pain barrier for a few months. I’m also going to continue restricting my calorie intake. My coffee maker will be my best friend.

Wednesday, 30th June, 2021

The last day of June has started well. Took Pauline for an early appointment at a third, new hairdresser and it looks to have gone well. This hairdresser trained as a ballet dancer with Ballet Rambert (speaks volumes) but then went on to train as a Hairdresser with Vidal Sassoon himself in London before moving on to work in Sassoon‘s Manchester branch. The cut looks good. Fortunately, she has no grey so doesn’t need colouring and the cut only cost £50.00 so will probably merit at least one more visit later.

I wrote recently of the ‘heat’ in our local, property market. This week, an article appeared in the MyLondon publication which rather confirmed what was happening. The pandemic has encouraged a move from the intensity of London life to the more open and healthier environment of seaside villages like ours. Angmering is described as ‘gorgeous’ which I think is going a bit far but it is pleasing if wealthy Londoners think so. They are welcome to come and inflate our property values.

I was born into a family home actually built by my own family firm for family life. We have not had children so that necessity never arose. There is a sense in which family encourages the feeling of a house being a home rather than just another property. We have always bought, invested and sold properties as much for profit even though we have enjoyed living in them. It has, I suppose, contributed to my feeling of rootlessness and not belonging. (Cue sarcastic singing!)

The search, purchase, development and marketing have almost become ends in themselves. We have actually talked about having this house valued and looking again now we have been here 5 years. There is a refusal to accept that the process has finished at the age of 70. Although my mother was from London and her parents from Brighton, she married into a family totally rooted, fully located in the small, Midlands village life with its history, its suffocating cultural, religious and commercial life that I became so desperate to escape. Her world was one of faith, of moral and political certainties, of unquestioning belief that I utterly rejected although her certainty, possibly, made her less troubled than I have been.

Awful news about our old haunts in the North of England this morning. The coronavirus death rate in Greater Manchester has been 25% higher than in the rest of England, new research has found. Long-standing health inequalities, high levels of economic deprivation and wide social disparities have meant the region has suffered especially acutely during the pandemic, the study by Professor Sir Michael Marmot says. To make matters worse, Life Expectancy in Greater Manchester is said to have declined by 2 full years. If you needed a reason to move then this would be it.

Thursday, 1st July, 2021

Happy July! July already? The year, the time, the Life is running ahead too fast. The new month is being greeted by a really lovely morning. The day is warm, sunny and cloudless. Breakfast is taken with the conservatory doors flung wide open and bird song competes with R4 Today.

Sainsburys delivery early, window cleaner arriving and then we are going out to Tesco before more lawn mowing, hedge trimming and a long walk. Pauline’s haircut appears, after one sleep, to have been quite effective so we can relax on that subject for a while.

It is cherry season. I love cherries and am inclined to gorge on them when they are available. The greengrocer in Rustington has two, beautiful types for sale at the moment and I am really enjoying them.

I have been preparing for the slightest window of possibility when we might be able to drive across the Channel by exploring hotel bookings.

It would just be nice to get a suite at our favourite hotel in Coquelles and use it as a springboard to drive to nice places for lunch – Wissant, St Omer, Arras, Le Touquet.

My little sister, skinny Liz, is Director of Social Care & Public Health at Richmond and Wandsworth councils. It always brings me up short when her face comes up on social media. This morning, I accessed Linkedin and there she was, sitting on an empty train from Chiswick to Wandsworth.

Friday, 2nd July, 2021

Interesting morning which started brightly but very quickly became enveloped in a drifting sea mist. It’s a gardening day as the weather is encouraging so much growth everywhere.

I am troubled by my life now that my Blog is so hard to write. On one side, everything is going along quite normally although monotonously and, on the other, the future is turbulent and uncertain. How can I resolve this? I am trying desperately to look to the future with travel plans but it is all hypothetical.

The French will allow fully vaccinated people in but we will need evidence of a negative PCR test taken within 72 hours of departure, or an antigen test within 48 hours of departure. Of course, these are available but at quite a cost both in terms of travel and payment. The most rapid and certain test costs around £110.00 per person which is quite steep for a few days away.

What this will mean is that younger ones who are reluctant to be vaccinated will be penalised. Something reported this morning might give them pause for thought. Hollyoaks tends to have a younger audience although I know some wrinklies watch it. Last night a 28-year-old actress from the soap was rushed to hospital with some severe Covid symptoms. She is on oxygen support and was suffering from excruciating skin pain. 

Of course, new Covid cases increased by 50,000 in the past week which is a 46% increase and UK has more new Covid infections than the whole of the EU put together so they may harden their stance to our entry as Merkel is requesting. For that reason alone, it is a bit risky to book anything yet.

Just to add to the joy, our mobile phone charges, which are significant when we travel, will increase hugely as roaming charges are being reintroduced because of BREXIT!! I use my mobile phone for lots of things abroad not least to stream BBC Radio 4 and the Parliament Channel through the media centre in our car as we travel further south into Europe and the DAB & FM signals disappear. This will become an increasingly expensive luxury. 

The skies have cleared and hot sunshine poured through as we gardened. Just met our new neighbours from across the road. EU nationals, Philippo & Christina are from Parma in Italy. Beautiful place and lovely ham. We have been there many times en route to Greece and back. 

We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express, Parma just off the Autostrada del Sole. I’m not a fan of Elvis but the Manager there was christened Elvis and the hotel proudly advertised it. Really must get to know our neighbours better!

Saturday, 3rd July, 2021

Weather’s a bit depressing this morning – warm but grey. Still, life could be worse. Nice things still happen. I’m losing weight and having new clothes ordered for me. Pauline loves buying things. Actually, I don’t wear clothes very often but there may come a time … Early out to buy fruit – apricots, peaches, cherries – and the sun has come out. It is warm on our faces as we walk.

Never been to America although I always thought I should. I know Pauline has been reluctant but, now, she has an incentive with members of her family living there for the next 18 months. They are in Tampa, Florida which could be interesting. My boyhood friend, Jonathan, has lived in Boston, Massachusetts since the early 1970s and I would like to see him again. Currently, we just communicate occasionally by email. His sister, an early girlfriend of mine, lives in Canada. Can you imagine seeing someone again that you haven’t seen for almost 50 years. It will be fascinating. Jonathan was always the polar opposite of me – scientific and not sporty, not really physical at all and certainly not a literature reader or political. He was scientific, didn’t go to University but went straight into industry and made a real success of it.

Of course, Florida and Massachusetts are almost a continent apart and we would have to fly between the two but it would make an interesting early winter trip. November would probably be the time we would look to travel which may be just too late for Boston’s Fall but that’s not a problem. Would just be lovely to catch up with my Past again.

The Blog is still limping on while Bloggers that I’ve been following for years are falling all around me. Bart Simpson from Paros ceased some time ago. The Skiathan followed into the abyss. Now the Symi Dream boys are no more. Even the Democracy Street lecturer in Corfu writes only very occasionally. Anyway, I write for myself as much as anything else so it will continue. I’m really enjoying Dominic Cummings two Blogs – Dominic Cummings Blog & Dominic Cummings Substack and Professor Chris Grey’s Brexit Blog is a delight each Friday.

Sunday, 20th June, 2021

Going away, going away … When will we be going away? Every time you go away … On this day of low cloud and darkness on the south coast, the sun centres of Europe are strangely quiet and largely deserted.

The UK coastal centres seem to be increasingly popular in contrast. Unfortunately, the sunshine is often missing. We walked through Worthing town centre yesterday and then right back along the beach path. It wasn’t hot and it wasn’t sunny. Plenty of people were dressed for the Mediterranean and wandering aimlessly, looking for the missing link – sunshine.

Twelve years ago today, I heard that my old friend, Nigel had become a Budhist monk. I don’t know why but I was shocked. Nigel was always alternative. When I was with him, he introduced me to Leonard Cohen another (temporary) budhist. Since then he has re-entered the real world, remarried, developed an artistic career and appears to be enjoying life. We have written to each other and, maybe, we will meet up.

I’m not sure how much we would have in common. I’m not sure how much we ever had in common. I liked being challenged by people from backgrounds I had no experience of before. Nigel’s ‘alternative’ was interesting, often bewildering and difficult for me.

What really brings me up short is the gradual aging process. Because we live with ourselves in real-time, we tend not to notice the small changes. Suddenly seeing someone from my past with their accumulation of ‘small changes’ brings one up short and forces self-appraisal. I am old. I look old. I am getting older. Time is running out until we go away for good. Must exercise to stave it off. Lots of experiences to come. Happy Sunday.

Well, the sun has come out. The temperature has struggled up to 22C/70F and I’ve just staggered out of the gym after 2¼ hrs workout. I am starting to break some personal bests with 65 miles covered in the past 7 days and 250 miles in the past 28 days. I’m really feeling a lot better after that. Younger? No! Fitter? Definitely.

Monday, 21st June, 2021

Summer Solstice. Longest Day. Start of Summer. Heavy Rain. What is happening?

Have to wish Harry – Pauline’s cousin’s husband happy 85th birthday today. Haven’t seen them for a couple of years. We must call in this October.

I don’t know why we’ve moved home so many times. I do know that I’ve always been trying to escape my rural village childhood and have never felt rooted enough to one place. Perhaps I’ve been running away. Often people like to stay close to friends or relatives. For me, I think, it isn’t until I’ve left an area that something or someone pops up who I miss.

I did find that I missed Yorkshire when I moved to Surrey. It was the stark, moors landscape and dry-stone walls that had dominated my drive to work each day and become ingrained in my sensibility. Moorland landscape, sheep and Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony are hard to beat at times although so much rain gives me pause for thought.

I do like to go back and visit my friends in the North. I keep in contact with lots of people from my past but it tends to be on my terms. The Greek interlude contributed to that distancing and encouraging long range contact. I know I’m not alone in this. Others like to reach out but control the contact. Maybe, I attract people similar to myself.

Moving south has been equally challenging. The first step was Surrey near Pauline’s family. It was intended as a stepping off point for driving to Greece but I didn’t enjoy apartment living and I didn’t really enjoy the intensity of bustling Surrey life. Moving further south to the coast has suited me. It is attractive, more relaxing and has wonderful facilities within easy reach although I still don’t feel anything other than dwelling without belonging.

We have always tended to see our properties as investments just as much as homes. Investment in them has always had one eye on re-sale values. Overall, that has paid off. The property I was least happy about certainly gave us the best return by almost doubling its value in 5 years. It looks as if we may have hit a sweet spot down here at this point in development.

The pandemic has seen people flooding out of crowded urban areas into rural and coastal communities. The Sunday Observer had an article examining this yesterday. Prices are rising 14.2% a year in countryside locations on average compared with less than 7% in urban areas but the biggest percentage increases of up to 30% were in Broxtowe in Nottinghamshire, around Lancaster, in Arun in West Sussex and Amber Valley in Derbyshire. We live in Arun in West Sussex and have certainly been amazed at the heat in the property market. This morning, a property across the field from us went on the market for £10 million. Mind you, it has got an indoor swimming pool and a tennis court.

Of course, these valuations are only meaningful if one is prepared to cash in and move. To really capitalise, it would mean us moving back to the North where prices are so much lower. Would we exchange the weather and facilities for that? What neither of us is prepared to admit is that this could be our last property. It is tantamount to admitting defeat and things even worse than that.

Tuesday, 22nd June, 2021

Another grey morning. Not warm either. Going out to town to collect some orders. Not a day for walking on the beach.

In Summer 1966, I was 15 years old and had been smoking experimentally for about a year – on the school bus, in town with friends, never near authority. In Summer 1966, I went to Ireland on the day England won the World Cup. We sailed Holyhead – Dun Laoghaire. When we got to Dublin, my juvenile mind was excited to find how cheap Irish cigarettes were. I bought a packet of the local, Sweet Afton brand.

Even then, cigarette manufacturers were well aware of the toxic nature of their products and tried to disguise it by marketing them under healthy titles. Woodbine (Honeysuckle)  –  was popular. Gold Leaf conveyed a wealth of nature. Sweet Afton in Ireland was named after the Burns poem singing the praises of the pure waters of the Afton River in Scotland. They were very cheap but they made me terribly sick for days. Pity it didn’t put me off smoking sooner. I saw them advertised yesterday and felt pleased that I haven’t smoked for more than 35 years.

Maybe it’s because I’ve turned 70 but these past few months have been like a roller coaster ride of highs and lows which I haven’t experienced for years and haven’t found easy to cope with. Reaching back to 1966 feels such a long way away and yet also quite close. There is an enormity to Life and Death, to People and Loss that I struggle to get to grips with.

I am fighting to control it and to maximise the delightful parts while minimising the harsh sadnesses like Janus the god of beginnings, transitions and endings, of life & death. I am currently facing both ways. Janus was the god of gates & doors between what was and what is to come.

Facing the immediate future, I have booked 5 nights in the North in October 17^th – 22^nd which will give us more flexibility to visit and catch up. Something to look forward to.

Regular readers of the Blog will know that I brought a seed pod of a Canarian tree back from Tenerife about 3 years ago. I boiled the seeds and sowed them. They germinated with great success and I potted the seedlings up. They grew into trees of some 5ft tall. I couldn’t justify a potted forest in the conservatory windows so just one was nurtured through two winters. It grew too tall to come in last winter and appeared to die in the cold spell. On the off chance, I fed and watered it a couple of months ago and ….. shoots appeared. It just goes to show that anything has potential for being revived if we are only prepared to give it a chance.

Oh, Delonix Regia, I thought I’d lost you. Now you are back. Grow old with me and I will take much more care of you. I must look for a good, protective blanket for this winter.

Wednesday, 23rd June, 2021

A nice and sunny morning. We have cancelled deliveries and are going shopping in Sainsburys early. Then I can cut the lawns and Pauline could harvest, prepare and freeze herbs from the garden. It will be nice to see the sun after a few days absence and to cook outside again. On this day in 2018, we were setting off to drive to the Dordogne for a month in the sun and to buy up a red wine lake. Now alcohol is banned.

I am doing just over 2 hrs of exercise a day and have done for the past 132 consecutive days. Once I’m in the pattern, it is harder to not do it than just complete my regime. It is actually giving me pleasure and encouraging me to watch a lot more films than I could have ever anticipated. An interesting article entitled Experimental Gerontology in The Times this morning by a Professor in the Centre for Health and Ageing at the University of Wales.

His central thesis is that a man in his late sixties can cut his biological age by up to 20 years through exercise alone. On average a man’s maximum attainable heart rate declines by about one beat a minute each year after the age of 30. About 90g of muscle is lost each year from the age of 40, meaning that a man in his seventies who does no exercise typically has a third less muscle than a 25-year-old. Regular exercise in older age and cutting out spam burgers can really turn back the clock. I, for one, am prepared to listen.

The word Patron is French for Boss. Patronise can mean to do business with although it can also mean to treat in a way that betrays a feeling of superiority. The two are obviously linked as the Boss deals with subordinates with an air of superiority. I can be bossy. I can be insensitive. I am obviously superior but, to call me patronising, is very hurtful. I was called patronising the other day because I described the facts about the North of England. Pointing out facts can never be patronising unless they are manufactured to establish a falsely superior position.

Now this Tory, Brexiter government really is patronising. Levelling up? In words only! Reports out yesterday say Barnsley Hospital in South Yorkshire is struggling to find beds for patients. This is the Red Wall! Vaccination and healthcare provision in the south means we have virtually no Covid cases and yet this is the headline in the MEN last night.

A friend of ours who is Deputy Head at one, large Oldham school has more than 30% of the pupil population isolating because of Covid today. Right across Greater Manchester the stats are not good. What are the Tories doing to help them? Words are cheap!

Anyway, can you imagine, dear reader, anyone actually ascribing such a description as patronising to someone as gentle as me? I bet they were a Brexit voter!

Thursday, 24th June, 2021

Lovely day yesterday. Good, warm sunny weather which helped. The garden ended up looking good after mowing, strimming, and sweeping and a long exercise session saw me lose another few pounds.

Trip to Sainsbury’s which meant using my shopping app and Google Pay on my phone. Made me feel part of the real world again. Had a ‘fraud’ query from our bank this morning because we have used the online services so little in the past 12 months. We have to have new cards which would be welcome anyway.

Found photos of old friends from exactly 50 years ago. Lovely to see them again. This is from an Art trip to London in the sunshine.

This morning is warm and sunny again but we are off to the Dentist for the first time in over a year. Not looking forward to it. Let you know later how it goes. …. Well, it was painful as the probe dug into my gums and I was admonished by the beautiful Persian lady for substandard oral hygiene. After signing up for £450.00 annual contracts, I have to see the hygienist again tomorrow morning. What get-out clause can I find this time?

Just 9 years ago, I was working quite happily in my Greek Office without a care in the world. So much has happened since then. In 9 more years, I will be almost 80. How can this be?

I’ve resolved to start my book. The book I’ve been promising myself for the past decade. It will be loosely based around my life story. I’ve been doing it for years in my Blog. Now, I am going to try to use certain important, traumatic, emotional, ecstatic events of mine and project them onto a central character. 

You may find this strange but it is exactly how my sense of motivation works. The impetus to start has been triggered by a new piece of software that will make the construction of the book enjoyable. I can already ‘see’ the process in my mind’s eye.

I have had my work produced in book form before. Over 30 years ago, I wrote R.H. Tawney and the Medieval Tradition for my research Masters Degree. It had to be professionally printed, bound and gold-tooled. It took almost 2 years of research and writing to get to this stage and it was all done in the evenings after work.

I must say that the process was long and painful and the finished product didn’t give me the feeling of joy that I had expected. I did feel that, at least, I hadn’t let myself down and I was pleased to have achieved the M.A. but I almost never referred to it or mentioned it afterward. It had no relevance to my professional career and didn’t help it one bit. It just helped me feel better about myself. I would have felt even better if I had gone on to the Doctorate but it seemed too self-indulgent and over demanding.

When we sold up in Greece I created a sales website to advertise the house. It involved dozens of photos and lots of information about the suppliers who had contributed to its construction. As we were leaving for the last time, I thought a permanent record of the journey to and from Greece along with a record of the land purchase and the property we built would be a nice thing to look back on. I used all the data I had to create a book. I did it online and had it printed and sent to me. It is a lovely memory.

Just staggered out of the gym at 3.00 pm and the sun has gone. I am shattered, wet and a little dejected. My shirt weighs more than I do at this stage. Time for a shower!

Friday, 25th June, 2021

Grey and damp start to the day. Woken to news of travel to the sun delayed even further. I’ve got a huge spot erupting on the side of my face like some love-sick teenager. What is happening to me? Am I regressing?

Had a phone call from a Spanish Estate Agent / Currency FX supplier yesterday asking if I was ready to proceed with property viewing. Daft question really and he admitted he knew the answer already. Nothing will happen until we can travel out. Ten years ago this morning, I was waving at you from the beach car park in Φάρος (Lighthouse) in 32C/90F of heat.

It was great to have our own car on the island because so few rentals featured air-conditioning. Today, you would be hard pressed to find 5 tourists on that beach and the islanders will be devastated by the UK government’s failure to allow Brits out there just as they will be worried by Europe’s attempt to keep Brits out. At least it may provide them with some compensation although it won’t really make up for 2 seasons without income.

I was thinking about Pocahontas overnight. Strange nightmare or what? When we first started going to Greece, it was a cheap, student, back-packing ‘hippy’ destination. Rooms were cheap, meals out were incredibly cheap and charter flights were very cheap. Gradually, the Greeks tried to develop and mature their tourist offering for the more affluent traveller. We matured with it. Who knows where it will go back to after the pandemic. Who knows where any of us will go back to after the pandemic.

Back to the Hygienist at lunchtime. If the Blog fails to materialise after this, it will be because I have been arrested for serious assault on a Hygienist. Those probes they stick in my gums are excruciating for a little person like me. Calm & Gentle they call it as they calmly torture my mouth. What I really need is the peace & love of the hippy style.

Saturday, 26th June, 2021

Lovely blue sky and sunshine this morning. The lawns are bright, vibrant green set against the pure blue of the sky but they need cutting again already. That is the highlight of the day! That and walking down to the surgery to collect repeat prescriptions. What is life becoming? Leaves me feeling a bit flat.

Well, I survived half an hour with the Hygienist but not her forward plan for me. She wants 2 x 1hr sessions with me immediately at a cost of 2 x £190.00 plus 3 x 30 mins sessions over 12 months at a cost of 3 x £95.00. Cost of being tortured by a Hygienist – £665.00. This is in addition to an annual dentistry plan. I swallowed quite hard when I was able to and said I would think about it. I can’t imagine an hour with a Hygienist at all never mind 2 in a fortnight.

Three years ago today, I was in the market of the small, southern French village of St. Sauveur. It is just outside the city of Bergerac on the banks of the Dordogne. We were buying fish from the mobile shop that turned up twice a week. The temperature was very hot – 32C/90F – and we were delighted to find swordfish steaks (Steaks d’Espadon) for the grill. I love the struggle with alternative languages and cultures. I like to be challenged and taken out of my comfort zone. It is enlivening and I miss it.

Just 49 years ago this summer, I arrived in Oldham. I still don’t know why. I need to ask someone! I really knew nothing about the place and yet I spent most of my life there. This photo posted yesterday is from exactly that time. By the look of it, I am History although I am still determined to be Present & Future! My kiss & tell book will be sensational. Forward purchases will be welcome soon!