Sunday, 22nd June, 2025
A hot, humid night and the events of yesterday led to a fitful night’s sleep. We had planned so much for yesterday but it was a day when events made those plans redundant. As Harold MacMillan said, Events, Dear Boy, events when he was asked about the difficulties of being a statesman. Something of real moment happened and threw my petty plans into sharp relief.
Yesterday, after hours in the tawdry surroundings and unkempt workaday organisation of a busy hospital on a humid and energy sapping day, Phyllis – Pauline’s sister and Mandy’s Mum – who was weeks away from her 88th birthday, breathed her last. Suddenly, all those clichés surrounding death in age rise in one’s mind and in one’s speech about 88 being a good age to reach, about her failing health making death a release, about hoping to reach that target one’s self, etc..
Phyllis had been a feature of my life for almost 50 years. We agreed on very little but it was her feisty, opinionated personality which illuminated her life and strength to live it. She fought to succeed throughout. She never gave up. She was intelligent and sharp with a good memory and ability to recall facts which would have stood her in good stead if she had been in a position to access a formal education. Instead she lived on energy, determination and her native wit. It’s when you realise that such a fire has left the world that you begin to understand its moment. When it comes to death, no age is a good age.
Of course one death is so often the end of two. Phyllis and Colin were a long standing and hard working parnership through good and bad times.
I have hundreds of the most terrible photos of Phyllis – pictures of her with a dog but without her head on. Pictures of her on a beach but so far away that she is a dot on the horizon, pictures of her at social events where she is almost indistinguishable from the crowd. They were all pictures of a time – from a Box Brownie to a Polaroid – but I love this one of her on a motorbike from the mid 1950s. When you blow it up, you suddenly spot other figures in the doorway – ghosts of a past we never knew.
I wake around 5.00 am every morning and, irony of ironies, this morning was a program with two women who had both written books on How to Die a Good Death and No Ordinary Deaths. We avoid thinking about and planning for death until it is too late. It will happen to us all and the struggle is to fend off the inevitable as long as possible. The two of these propositions are intimately entwined.
In the past, without scientifically based Health Care and without drugs to ward off and fight disease, early death was prevalent – expected even. Our ancestors had a more integrated relationship with death, viewing it as a familiar presence in daily life. This contrasts sharply with contemporary society’s more distanced approach to death but no death can be considered ordinary however inevitable it is.
Monday, 23rd June, 2025
Don’t know if is because of the events of Saturday or what is happening to me physically but I am feeling sad and in need of emotional support. It is normal for such things to refocus thoughts of mortality. You certainly know who your friends are. Generally, I respond by being more stubborn rather than giving in but it takes me a bit of time.
In the meantime, everything is too much effort, too difficult, too trying. For example, I am calm and rational when IT problems need working through. This morning, I am screaming at two mobile phones and two computers over what should be a very simple repair. My wife, in an idle moment of madness on holiday last week saw an app advertised which would allow her to use her phone to check her blood pressure. She obviously thought that living with me meant she needed it.
Of course, it was a scam waiting to happen and, the moment it was installed, it locked her phone and demanded money to reopen it. In order to rectify the situation, I had to return it to factory settings and reinstall every service app. This was important because all her travel documents were on it along with her finance and banking apps amongst 50 or more others. Ever since then, I have been struggling to add all her Credit/Debit/Charge cards to her Google Wallet which is becoming the default payment method now.
It should all be so easy and I followed every guideline but still failed. I needed to speak to a PERSON! We used to have our own Personal Banking Manager but, as they withdrew from the High Street so they withdrew our individual online/telephone service. It is almost impossible to get a face-to-face or voice-to-voice contact. Cora has replaced it and AI really still lacks nuance. Dear Cora says she will get back to me. I’m still waiting.
At the same time, we are supposed to be going abroad in a week but there is now a funeral to organise and the timing is so uncertain that we can’t just get on with our travel arrangements as usual. I’ve already been checking our insurance policy’s cancellation requirements. Ironically, it comes through our Bank account so I may becoming best mates with Cora soon.
The circular frustration of these AI Bots leaves one feeling old and incompetent – out of touch. I am only one of those things and I can’t help being old but I refuse to accept that this needs to be so difficult. Cheap, yes but not difficult.
Anyway, home grown green beans for Supper with Roast Salmon and Pesto Crust. Something to look forward to.
Tuesday, 24th June, 2025
Quite a dull day and we are on tenterhooks about the next development. I am poised to contact the property in Spain we have rented for the next few weeks to say what time we arrive OR I am poised to collate all my evidence for the insurance company to prove why I have to claim £4,000.00 + to cancel our trip because of a funeral. It all pivots on that and I hate uncertainty above everything else.
Do we pack or do we not? My new cap is waiting for the decision. Found out this morning that my new cap which my wife ordered and loves is a Failsworth Cap. If you’d lived my life, you would know how significant that is. Why on earth did I arrive in Oldham? Oh, Dear Reader. I ask myself. Failsworth, as many will know is contiguous with Oldham. I was shocked to research its origin.
The Failsworth Hat Company was founded in 1903 at Failsworth Maypole. It is a well known place in Greater Manchester.
My ghosts walk the region. It sends a shiver down my spine. I find this dislocation very unhappy although I like the knowledge that my new cap was founded in my occasional home.
Today is the 9th anniversary of the Brexit result being reported. Michael Bloomberg, the American Billionaire told his Irish audience yesterday that Brexit was the single stupidest thing any country has ever done, adding that “it’s hard to believe how they did it. The country now completely agrees with him in huge numbers.
The snake oil salesmen – Johnson & Farage – sold them a pup as is the way that the uneducated are duped throughout history. Just think of the religious indulgences of old and the modern carbon-offsetting. There are stupid people throughout time. We warned them and they were persuaded to cry, Scaremongering! We weren’t and now they know. Phyllis wouldn’t admit it if she was still here, that’s for certain.
Wednesday, 25th June, 2025
A hot, humid, overcast morning of real frustration. We have had a couple of very sticky nights and a photo was posted on our local web of Littlehampton Marina Pier on Monday evening.
I have been desperately trying to communicate with my Bank, My Credit Cards provider and Google Pay. Ironically, after the Blog yesterday, I was speaking to a Bank Technical expert who turned out to be working from home – in Chadderton, Oldham. I could tell immediately by his accent and Yasser from Chadderton knew exactly where I used to teach. Even so, he still couldn’t sort out my problem.
At least I have been able to contact my holiday property. Dear, little Mandy is still struggling with the painful technicalities of her Mum’s death and her Dad’s future. These are rights of passage but none the less painful for that. What they have meant for us is that we can go on holiday and return to help out later. We fly in to Murcia, San Javier, Airport mid morning and a taxi will get us to the property by mid-day or 4 hours before Checkin. I am happy to pay and extra €30.00 to have the villa prepared early.
This is going to be an exciting trip because it is new territory for us. It will stretch us. Soon after returning, we fly off to Athens again – a regular trip – and then a couple of months later, go back to Tenerife for a month. Next year we have decided to combine new and old. We will return to Thessaloniki and to Athens and to our island home of Sifnos but we will integrate them all into one trip.
We intend to fly in to Thessaloniki to stay for a week and then take the train to Athens. That will be an interesting first. We’ll spend a few days in Athens, get a ferry to Sifnos and spend a week there for the first time in a decade and then go back to Athens for a few more days before flying home. I’m already excited about that.
Thursday, 26th June, 2025
It rained over night. Hallelujah! I was about to spend the morning watering the garden and the street. All done free of time and charge. Even the street borders may start to green up after a long, dry spell.
The plants along the drive have been living in bone hard soil for quite a while and a heaving a great sigh of relief.
My Housekeeper is at the Hairdressers in preparation for her holiday trip. I’m thinking about preparing the survival of the garden.
I am preparing to water the garden remotely with a programmable timer switch and two sprinkler systems attach to it.
I need to use this system so rarely that it takes a slow, old man like me quite a while to get back up to speed. Still, I’ve set it up and it will be tested tonight then adjusted if necessary.
The bank has sorted out the problem with our Google Wallets so that has cleared another gripe from my mind. I am gradually ticking off jobs as I go through the day. This morning, I’ve been producing maps of the area where we are staying with restaurants and Supermurcados.
We feel slightly guilty that we are going away on holiday and leaving Little M behind to deal with the organisation of the funeral. I must emphasise the ‘slightly’ and we will be returning to attend a funeral soon afterwards. It’s quite a long time since I have been to a funeral. It’s even longer since I had to organise one – almost 16 years. We have certainly received some lovely ‘sympathy’ cards from friends and relatives over the past few days. People are very thoughtful and we are grateful.
Friday, 27th June, 2025
Lovely, hot day for the Dentist. Just a check-up on our service contract. Lovely lady – Persian and beautiful. It helps when you’re poking about in a mouth. A couple of X-rays. No problems and return in 6 months. I will be almost 75. At least, I will have sorted a lot of things out by then.
I was amused this morning when my little friend thought I would be struggling to slum it by flying to Torrevieja. I must admit, I do have some reservations particularly when looking for restaurants in the vicinity. They are very much of the ‘fastfood’ variety. Fortunately, I’ve chosen a property some way off the town and where we can easily source fresh food that we can cook ourselves.
I think I’ve eaten Paella once in the whole of my life. Looking forward to trying it in Spain for the first time. I’ve been increasingly buying Spanish wine over the past few years. I love Rioja and the Temperanillo grape. Looking forward to drinking that.
I did Spanish at Grammar School up to GCE Level but I’ve virtually not used it since. It will be interesting to reacquaint myself with the vocabulary and learn to read road signs, menus and advertisments. I will try to follow Spanish TV and the babble of voices arround me in the streets to broaden my experience. It is a Romance Language, after all which dovetails into French, Italian and Portuguese so I should manage it.
It looks like it will be seriously hot so I will need to do early morning and late evening walks. We have a pool so that will give day time execise. I need to treat it as if I’m at home although I certainly have no intention of going ‘British’. We’ll leave that for the Lower Classes, Dear Reader.
The day has developed into a very humid one. My 8 mile walk has left me sweaty, wet and tired. Love my power shower. It is so reviving. I used to enjoy the Sauna & Jacuzzi at the end of a David Lloyd Gym session but my shower is just as refreshing.
Saturday, 28th June, 2025
Warm, humid, overcast. The sun is coming to large parts of UK … well, not to North Wales obviously but most normal parts. It has already arrived in force across Europe.
The area in Spain where we are going has this projected for next week. Just my sort of weather although I’ll need my Failsworth Cap.
We are flying into Murcia International. I say International but it looks fairly small and local really. The prices of services are incredibly cheap. I thought I was reading it wrongly but, no, a taxi to anywhere in the central Murcia region is limited to €29.00.
An SUV hired from and returned to the airport for 14 days costs just over €200.00/£180.00. Absolutely amazing. This is what you get for slumming it in Spain. My Carer spent £75.00 at the hairdressers this week which puts that price into perspective. I suppose that’s right. Never slum it on a haircut …. although mine was free.
When people disappear from your life. They never totally do. They live on in memory and custom. Phyllis died a week ago and this morning, I referred to her twice without thinking. There are rooms in our house I almost never visit. There is a bedroom which, for shorthand, is known as Phyllis’s Room. She slept in it once for one night. It is at the back of the house and I only go in there to collect a suit from the wardrobe and I don’t wear suits very often now. This morning, I found myself speaking about Phyllis’s Room and it hit me. She will never sleep there again but she sleeps in my head.
In the old days – the 1980s – before Skype and mobile phones, I would spend all summer travelling and send a stream of postcards to my Mother particularly as I was always away on her birthday.
I was surprised to find she kept them all and I retrieved them from her house when she died. They are shivery memories of a time that predates mobile phones but chronicles experiences long gone. I haven’t really sent any for quite a while other than to an old friend who can’t cope with the internet but I quite fancy sending some from down market Spain. Something to look out for, Dear Reader.