Sunday, 29th October, 2023
I remember, I remember,
Thomas Hood 1827
The house where I was born …
I was reading of lots of flooding in the East Midlands over the past few days. I immediately thought of my past. I am from the East Midlands and Repton Road connecting the village with Derby on one side went past St Wystan’s, The Anglo-Saxon abbey church, over the River Trent on what is now a Grade 2 listed bridge. There were notable occasions when the Trent breached its banks and the village was cut off.
Derby Live sent stories of flooding this week but my brothers and sisters will know that the only photo I could find is out of date. It is looking across the Trent floodplain to Willington where the power station has been demolished for some time.
The Grade 2 Bridge has been damaged though and villagers are up in arms about a botched repair which they are being told is temporary. I’m afraid it is village politics like this that I was glad to escape.
No escaping the rain, though. It is a watery world even down here. Yesterday, the Worthing Firework display and carnival was called off hours before it was due to start because of heavy rain forecast and they were proved right. The evening and night brought torrential rain. Hastings – just 50 miles down the coast was completely flooded. Suddenly, after 7 months exercising largely outside in the sunshine, it feels strange to be back in the Gym watching films.
We have our own park pond at the moment. About a mile down the road where I walk most days, the huge grassy area popular for sunbathing and picnics, is currently a boating lake although it’s more popular with seagulls today.
Monday, 30th October, 2023
Slept well last night. Strange but I woke up with the solution to a problem that has been dominating my mind for a few weeks. I tend to be rather impulsive but I am also rational. These are opposing tensions. I have spent weeks thinking it through, rationalising something which, ultimately, I will swallow hard and do. I woke up this morning knowing what the answer is although I will hold back for a couple of days and then act. It feels decided.
Day 12 of my Radiotherapy and schools were back so the ‘school run’ again. Traffic was noticeably more. I am getting a bit more blasé about the routines which is dangerous because it is important not to treat it too casually. I have to keep reminding myself that it is very serious. I am dealt with my a rotating team of about 8 pairs of Irish girls. I am getting to know their personalities which is something I don’t want to do. They are all chatty and welcoming. I am unusually disengaged. Home by 11.15 am and then life carries on.
We needed fresh vegetables from Sainsburys. Broccoli, at the moment is delicious and flavoursome. Well, it would be if you could buy it. I’m hooked on it. We went on Friday, Saturday and again today and still no broccoli …. and very few tomatoes. Apparently, ours come from Europe now but a shortage over there means little is being transported to us outsiders. Brexit, the gift that keeps giving!
Afternoon in the Gym. Got to keep fighting. Watching a British Spy serial called Spooks at the moment. There are 86 episodes so I will probably not complete it but it is taking my mind off things. Actually, the Covid Inquiry on Sky News is almost as gripping. Fascinating to watch Party Marty try to bluff his way through a non-explanation of why he deleted his Whatsapp conversations when the Inquiry was announced. They are all so entitled they think they can just busk it.
Tuesday, 31st October, 2023
Heavy rain over night. Didn’t sleep well but had fallen into a lovely dream that I was woken from at 5.45 am by the radio coming on. Dry and warm this morning. Last day of October for the world. Day 13 for me. Have to be in Brighton for 8.40 am.
Got there late because the traffic was awful. Tuesday is definitely the new Monday as work from home has become established. Just had time to drink a litre and a half of water before going in. I’ve said that I try to be withdrawn and impersonal as much as I can during this process. I’ve noticed that others tend to be very chatty, unusually jovial and rather over the top. The girl who tends to me more than any other asked me how many sessions I had had. I told her this was the 13th and I hoped it would be lucky.
She said immediately, Ah, yes. God willing. I told her that I didn’t believe in God. She said, Surely, John, you must have faith. I told her that the only faith I had was in Medical Science. I said, You must be a good, Irish Catholic. She agreed she was. I told her my Mother was. It was the first personal information I had volunteered so far. I slightly regretted it.
It’s strange but, although I don’t like to share my feelings with the radiotherapy staff who are asking about them, I feel happier sharing, in fact the need to share, with friends from a distance.
Incredible to think it is November tomorrow. So warm and beautiful down at the beach where I went after driving home. Quite a few people down there doing the same thing. One or two people out on the sea in sailing boats. Near the shore, the cancelled Bonfire was being burned down and woodsmoke scented the sea air.
This evening, our neighbours, whose children are in their early teens now, were preparing for a party. Halloween is a concept that escapes me. Mind you, Christmas largely does as well.
Wednesday, 1st November, 2023
Happy new month to all my readers. Hope the Winter treats you well and remains warm. A terrible night for me last night, thanks for asking. Hardly slept.
Up early for a drive through torrential rain and strong winds to Brighton Cancer Centre. It took double the normal time because of awful traffic. It was 16C/61F all night but wet. Today is so unreliable that I will be in the Gym for a few hours this afternoon.
In the Treatment waiting room, I met a man who was on his last session of 20. Four years older than me, he was from Staffordshire like me and was suffering many of the side effects that I am. He has the same consultant and is exhausted from the treatment. He looked exhausted and is really struggling emotionally at the end of his treatment.
Today was the day of the College Reunion for the first men’s cohort that I was in. They are all in their early to mid 70s. Kevin & JohnR were there to represent me and Kevin arranged a video call so that I could join in when I got home. Said Hello to Kevin, John ‘Tash’ Coates, Chris Tolley, Dave Weatherly, John Morris, Andy Henderson, Derek Coulson, Peter Holgate, Dave Roberts in the Scarborough Hotel, Leeds. At least they didn’t ghost me.
I’ve never been there but I was quick to see the irony that they boasted Ind Coopes Burton Beers. Between 1962 – 1968, I went to Burton Grammar School in the shadow of Ind Coopes Pale Ale Brewery. The odour of hops drifted across the Trent valley although I was more fixated on the Girls’ Grammar School at the time.
Thursday, 2nd November, 2023
A warm night of violent winds and torrential rain. The garden had been rearranged by 6.00 am this morning. Fortunately, a quick check suggested no real damage. Even so, I decided to go to Brighton especially early because I don’t want to miss a session. There was a lot of deep, standing water on the roads but there was almost no traffic. People had clearly decided to stay at home. I got there 90 mins early. I went in early and drove home through light traffic arriving almost before I was originally meant to go in. All days should be like this.
Went down to the beach to see what the effect of the storm had been. Sea foam had covered the beach road over night along with half of the beach.
I didn’t get to Yorkshire yesterday although I will have to go North very soon to sort things out. My friend, Kevin, very kindly video conferenced me to the meeting so I could say Hello to all those people I haven’t met up with since 1972. It was delightful. Because we were the first men (boys) in the College history and such a small number in a community of women, we formed a more insular bond. Well, that’s the theory. I’m not completely sure it was true. Certainly, I spent more of my time with girls than boys but that’s another story.
I have to admit that it’s shocking to see how old we are. I suppose it is more in the attitude than the body now.
Friday, 3rd November, 2023
Day 16 of treatment. Finish on Thursday next week if all goes well. The bad news I received today was that the side effects continue and get worse for a month after treatment stops. The lovely Irish blonde who is treating me welcomed me with, Happy Friday. I returned the greeting with, Happy World Jellyfish Day. The BBC World Service announced at 4.00 am that there was a vast increase in jellyfish because of warming waters and today was their day. I must admit, Aisling didn’t look over impressed but I have that effect on girls.
In this week in 2010, we were still in Oldham. Pauline’s Mum had died and Pauline scattered her ashes in the Memorial Gardens of the Crematorium.
We had been retired for about 18 months but we were still getting many demands from our old school. In this same week in 2010, we received 5 separate requests from people in or connected to school. I had a man I had appointed just wanted to talk, a man who I had been training wanting further guidance, a female teacher and a girl ex-pupil wanting references. Pauline had a visit from the police to discuss a domestic abuse case she had dealt with more than a year ago.
At the same time, we were keen to move on. We were urgently looking for properties to buy in the south of England although we really weren’t sure where. We were driving to our Greek home each Spring and back in the Autumn so I wanted to be closer to the Eurotunnel. I had initially thought that Kent would be best but my Chef/Cleaner really didn’t fancy it. I began to move round the South Coast to East Sussex. We visited many sites but none grabbed her. They all looked rather last century and a bit seedy. Her family had graduated from Oldham to Surrey and that is where we finally found a property which lasted us for 5 years.
I have to admit that Surrey never really attracted me and, as soon as I could, I escaped to Sussex which I absolutely love. My one regret is it has taken me away from friends – people who give me joy in my life. Just means I have to revisit more often. For those Blog readers who knew me in the past, perhaps went to college with me, I thought it would be nice to feature a figure from the past. Someone who has not been seen by anyone since 1972 turned up at the reunion this week. He was a ’Mature’ student but a very pleasant one. I have to admit, I wouldn’t have recognised Bill Walker if I’d been there. Probably, he wouldn’t have recognised me.
I hardly recognise myself at the moment. Two or three years ago, you wouldn’t have caught me watching films at all. Then, during Lockdown, I started to watch historically and politically based films in the Gym. I found they really helped to while away the time as I exercised. In the past week, I’ve watched a couple of RomComs with my wife and quite enjoyed them. Last night, Love at First Sight really held my interest. It was actually quite moving. Must be going soft in old age!
Saturday, 4th November, 2023
The local Rugby Club which is about two fields away from us made the brilliant decision to hold its Firework Display last night. It was cool but bright and dry. I’m a little past fireworks but the night sky was lit up for a couple of hours with delightful shooting stars of blue, red, green & gold. Over night, under a piercingly clear sky of stars and moon, the temperature dropped to 4C/39F by 1.00 am but had risen to 11C/52F just 3 hours later as the rain came across.
I had a strange night of dreams. I saw myself as a student in a sheepskin waistcoat/gilet. I inherited it from a passing stranger and wore it for months. I think I believed it made me look ‘hip’. It was grubby and smelly but ‘cool’. The person who bequeathed it – a hairy midget – was half my size so it was never a good fit but what we do for ‘fashion. I don’t know what happened to it but it still exists in my memory. Might expand on those memories in future Blogs.
I am often brought up sharply by photographs of the past. This black & white snap was taken about half a mile from my ‘flat’ in Oldham and only 5 years before I arrived. It looks like a scene out of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists.
I always saw the College males as ‘boys’ not ‘men’. Seeing them pictured a few days ago, the reverse has to be true. Where has it gone? Has it gone? Can it be retrieved? I will do every thing I can to hang on. Must visit Dave Weatherley in Bolton very soon.
One of the things that this treatment programme has done for me is reinstate That Friday Feeling that I lost in retirement. Yesterday, we opened a bottle of champagne in the afternoon. This morning, after an unsettled night, I stayed in bed until 7.00 am. Actually, I was finding it difficult to face the world. Rain was still falling heavily. It may have been a warm world but it wasn’t inviting. Farewell cruel world!
You would be forgiven for forgetting what a cynical, cold world it is. Those who you thought were on your side turn out quite the opposite. Yesterday, I received a touchingly intimate email from my Tory MP …. Fortunately, Boundary Changes mean he won’t be it for long even if he survives the election.
Looking forward to getting this treatment over so we can start travelling again both in and outside the country. Just 5 years ago, we were renting a villa in Tenerife for a couple of months and enjoying the warm sunshine. Need to find some more soon.